Standing Still
by Bookbinder4
Summary: After a terrible accident Christian and Ana must strive to get back to the life they knew before.
1. Chapter 1

Standing Still - Chapter One.

In twenty years of the job I've never witnessed so much pandemonium as I do when I step from my vehicle. Up until now it's been a fairly quiet day. I've been cruising along the streets for hours and was just thinking about retuning to the station when I got the call over my radio.

A large big rig has jack-knifed on the freeway causing a massive pile up and multiple injuries. I'm at the scene in less than ten minutes and rush towards the heart of the crash site.

Fire crews are already here and busy trying to put out several blazes, I can hear several people screaming for help so run to seek them out.

I approach a metallic blue Volvo that's front end is crushed in and notice a man inside calling for help. Amazingly I'm able to force his door open and with some effort I'm able to pull him free from the wreckage.

I leave him with a paramedic then go back towards the screams. I see various rescue workers pulling survivors from their cars then notice a dark SUV that's come to rest upside down. Nobody appears to be helping the passengers of the SUV so I dash over to investigate.

On closer inspection I find a man leant over the steering wheel, he's not moving and there's a lot of blood coming from his head. The windscreen in smashed so I reach into the vehicle and feel the man for a pulse.

There's nothing there, I feel again but he's cold to the touch and I quickly realise he's been dead for a while. Scanning inside I notice someone in the backseat hanging by their seatbelt. Arms hang down limply and their head is slumped forward, "Hello can you hear me," I ask as I move myself closer towards them.

Pulling at the door I try to budge it but its jammed shut so I try to break the glass of the back window. I kick it repeatedly but it won't smash so I search around for another way to gain access.

Running around the exterior I find the only access point to be through the smashed windscreen so without much thought I begin to pull myself thorough the opening. With effort and after various cuts from the broken glass I manage to gain access to the backseat. I can see now it's a young women and I'm quick to feel for a pulse. Incredibly she's still alive so I work to free her body from the vehicle. I no she shouldn't be moved without a back brace but I'm concerned by some smoke that's escaping from the engine.

I push on the release button and the woman falls into my waiting arms, she moans as I make contact and I try again to get a response from her. "Miss can you hear me," I ask but she fails to respond. Gathering her small frame in my arms I quickly realise I can't escape the way I entered with the woman so I call out for some help.

Shouting at the top of my voice I eventually get the attention of several fire fighters. They call out to me then leave to fetch some equipment so once again I'm left alone with the woman.

She's moaning again so I try to get her to talk to me, softly I call to her but she doesn't react. I'm cradling her to my chest trying to imbue her with some of my body heat when her eyes slowly open.

"Hello, you're okay. You're going to be okay Miss," I tell her but she just stares through me. I watch her pale frightened face and try my best to reassure her but how can you comfort anyone who's been through such an ordeal.

She's trembling now, shaking in my embrace and suddenly I'm consumed my the thought that this young woman is dying in my arms.

I call out again for help but nobody comes and I find myself practically begging the woman to keep breathing for me.

Her eyes close for a second and I almost loose it until she manages to open them once again. "Stay awake," I beg as she whimpers then splutters against me. I move her head then panic as blood drips down from the corner of her mouth.

More blood falls and I watch helplessly as her eyes roll back and the moans suddenly cease.

Feeling for a pulse I know it's gone before I feel for it so I lay her down on the ceiling of the car. I start compressions and after a few desperate minutes I manage to get her breathing again.

"Don't do that again," I repeat to her as I hold onto her small cold hand. Her eyes open again and she finally manages to communicate with me. Squeezing lightly on my hand she calls out someone's name. I'm worried it's the person sitting up front who I know is dead so at first I fail to reply.

"Christian," she calls again and I ask if he was in the car with her. I watch her think about the question then observe as she shakes her head.

"Christian, I'm scared. Christian," she calls out gripping my hand with a strength I though beyond her.

"I have a phone back in my cruiser, I'll call him as soon as you're free." I say trying to calm her.

"I need him," she asks softly as a tear slowly falls down her cheek.

"He'll be with you soon, you just need to hang on for him."

"It's hard," she sobs then whimpers again.

"Try miss, you have to keep trying," I beg as her grip on my hand loosens.

"It's cold," she murmurs in a strange unnatural voice.

"Someone's coming to help, hang on, please hang on," I call but her eyes are glassy and I doubt she can see me anymore.

I keep calling to her willing her to stay with me as I finally see the fire fighters returning.


	2. Chapter 2

Standing Still - Chapter Two

A page has gone out in the hospital that multiple casualties are coming into the emergency room after a massive traffic accident and that extra personnel are needed. I run for the elevator and make my way towards the ER, children could have been involved and may need help.

It's absolute bedlam when I arrive and several nurses are asking for assistance so I ask where I can help. The triage nurses have colour coded many of the patients based on who is in the most need of care. I notice two patients wearing black bands and realise they are too far gone for us to save. Five others have red bands and I can see various doctors working on them trying to keep them stable so they can be taken to surgery.

While helping a nurse to calm a combative man I notice he is bleeding from the head and move quickly to sedate him to prevent further injury.

"Grace," he mutters faintly as he sees me standing above him. I look down surprised by his recognition then fearful when I see who it is.

"Luke, what happened. Were you alone," I ask as I look away briefly and glace around the ER.

"I was following them," he replies cryptically.

"Following who?"

"I was following Reynolds, he was driving Mrs Grey home from work. Something hit me, I think I hit my head, are they here."

I glance around again, a deep dread seeping into my pores. "Do you know if they were caught up in the accident," I ask hoping desperately that they weren't there.

"I don't know, everything's a bit hazy. Try calling Ana on her cell, call her Grace, please call her."

I watch as Luke's mind begins to drift he calls out several times for Ana then slumps down on trolley. I administer some pain relief then call for him to be taken for a MRI scan.

I watch as they wheel him away then jump around to the nurses desk to make my call to Ana. I listen as it rings, begging my sweet daughter in law to pick up but she doesn't and eventually I'm called away for another emergency.

Hours pass and I hardly have a minute to myself as I work from patient to patient. Fortunately there are no major traumas involving children but still I'm rushed of my feet helping the injured and walking wounded.

Whenever I get the chance I call Ana's cell and when that fails to work I try calling the house. After several rings a flustered Gail picks up and I ask if Ana is home yet.

"Oh Grace no and I don't know what's keeping her. I've trying calling her cell and her office but they told me she left hours ago. Poor Phoebe's been calling for her Mama since she woke from her nap and little Teddy's been quite a handful with Ana not here to calm his tantrums."

"Have you talked to Christian," I ask hoping my son can shed some light on what's happening.

"Mr Grey left for Japan early this morning, I thought he told you about his business trip."

"Oh, yes he did it just slipped my mind. Do you know of anyway to contact him."

"Jason said they would be in the air for a good ten hours maybe longer, you can try but I'm not sure you'll be able to contact them until they land in Tokyo."

"Okay, thank you."

"Is everything alright Grace."

"I don't know, there was an accident Luke was hurt and I was just hoping that Ana had escaped unscathed."

"Accident, oh God. Ana's hurt I just know it nothing else would keep her from those babies, nothing."

"I'll call back when I have more news, hopefully Ana's okay and just got delayed. I'll call you soon Gail, just take care of my grandbabies, please."

"I will, call back soon."

I hang up more despondent than ever then start to make enquires about my daughter in law and her driver.

Eventually and with a lot of patience I find out that no one under the name 'Anastasia Grey' has been assessed as walking wounded. I find out that there are ten patients in surgery from the accident and that four of those are women. I also find out there have been three fatalities from the crash so I head off to the morgue to investigate further.

I feel sick as I enter the frigid atmosphere then reluctantly ask one of the technicians about the three people who died. He informs me that they are being examined by the coroner and thanks to my lab coat allows me access.

I feel faint as I enter and my eyes are drawn to a small brunette woman half covered by a sheet. My legs seem to drag me towards the body, all the while my mind is screaming at me to stop.

On closer examination my heart soars when I realise the woman is certainly not Ana and I have to fight myself to stop smiling. Sadly though my joy is short lived when on turning to leave I find myself staring at Reynolds. My sons employee and the person I know was last seen driving my daughter in law home from work.

Hesitantly I reach for his hand and gently stroke his fingers, he's icy cold. I look back to his face, lax and unnaturally still and I'm suddenly overwhelmed by his youth. He looks like my own two sons and I can't help the tears that are soon descending from my eyes. The poor young man, I don't even know his first name.

Wiping away my tears I hurry back to the surgery floor more that certain now that inside on of the theatres holds Ana.

I'm so upset by the time I reach the floor that none of the nurses will allow me access so I beg them to tell me what each woman looks like. A young nurses aid is able to tell me that two of the woman are far too old to be Ana. She tells me she has seen both woman as she has been the gopher for both surgeries.

I ask around and find out that one women is blonde and quite tall and then I see someone approach and based on the look on their face I can tell that my search is over.

"Doctor Grey a women arrived in the helicopter not long ago, she was in a bad way and was taken to surgery."

"What did she look like," I ask hoping against hope that this women is not our Ana.

"Small lady with dark hair."

"How old," I ask fearfully.

"Not too sure, twenties possibly early thirties."

At her words I find myself sinking to the ground, it's Ana I just know that it's Ana.

"Which theatre," I finally manage to ask.

"Six."

I'm back on my feet at her words and dashing towards theatre six. Out of breath I duck inside without further prevention then gasp audibly as I see the small body laid out under the harsh lighting.

The floor is covering in blood and numbly I watch as the various medical staff work hard to save the life on the table. I walk closer to the table and momentarily sigh in relief when a certainty consumes me that this is not Ana.

It can't be Ana, this woman is too sick her skin too grey her face too faded. Then my eyes begin to scrutinise the young woman, I note her small features, her beautiful raven hair and her petite slim build.

It's her, oh my God it's Ana.


	3. Chapter 3

Standing Still - Chapter Three

I watch as the fire fighters use the jaws of life to make an opening in the car. Within minutes they have made an opening large enough to carry the woman out of the wreckage. I help them lift her onto a waiting stretcher and together we all carry her to the nearby ambulance.

She stops breathing again the second she's placed inside and I watch helplessly as the paramedics work to bring her back. They shock her heart and I feel nauseous as I see her small body jump up on the stretcher. They get a rhythm and I sigh in relief but based on how sick she is I doubt she will make to the hospital in time.

The medics seem to agree with me and soon their calling despatch to send for the air ambulance. Luckily one is already at the scene and I hold tight to the woman's hand as the ambulance starts to move us closer to the helicopter.

"Phoebe," the woman murmurs as we're shaken inside the cab. I squeeze her hand tighter and she calls out again.

"Is that your sister," I ask trying to keep her conscious.

"My baby," she says as she fights for breath.

Oxygen is given and soon she seems calmer but she's still calling out for her baby girl. I stroke her face as I try to sooth her and she looks at me with strange almost knowing eyes.

"Christian, look after our babies," she sobs. I look at her uneasily convinced that she is going to flat line again.

"You have to keep breathing," I tell her softly.

"It's hard, is Teddy with you. He's a handful you'll need help Christian," she stutters. She's not making any sense and I'm scared that she's slipping away.

"Teddy," she asks for, her voice heartbreakingly sad.

"It's okay, you're okay. Just hang on I can see the helicopter now thorough the window."

"Charlie tango," she asks and I smile and nod my head. I don't understand what she means but she smiles back at me and seems to find some comfort.

The back of the cab doors swing open the second we stop moving and the woman is soon being pulled from the ambulance. I jump out and follow her as she's soon positioned inside the helicopter.

"Hang on, your almost there," I tell her.

"Christian don't leave me," she calls to me but I'm powerless to help as I'm pulled back. Several medics hold me as we watch the helicopters blades start to turn.

The noise is terrific and I'm blown further back by the air current. I watch as it's swallowed up amongst the clouds and I find myself praying that the poor young woman survives to see her babies and her Christian again.

Taylor's POV

It's been a long flight and I'm exhausted as the plane taxis to the airport. Christian had hoped to work the entirety of the flight but bad weather has prevented much communication with the ground.

I'm reaching for my bag when I hear my phone beeping, alerting me to several missed calls. At last my phones up and running again and I'm quick to scroll down through my messages.

I read the texts from Gail first and find myself puzzled by her concern on Ana's whereabouts. I scroll down further and find one listed important from Grace. Strange I rarely get much contact from Christian's mother so I pull up the message immediately.

I read the message and she asks me to call her as soon as we land. I find it odd that she hasn't contacted her son first but decide she probably has and he just hasn't called her back.

Dialling her cell I wait several seconds then on hearing her voice I instantly know that something is wrong.

"Hello it's Jason Taylor, what's wrong Mrs Grey," I ask.

"Jason, is Christian with you."

"He's up front chatting with the pilots, I can get him for you," I explain.

"No, don't do that. I need to talk to you, I'm afraid there's been an accident."

"Gail, is Gail alright," I shout back.

"It's Ana, she was involved in a car accident. It was very serious and she was very badly hurt."

"Is she okay," I ask faltering as I slump towards the nearest chair.

"I'm not sure she will pull though," I hear Grace sob and then all I hear is crying.

I wait hoping to give her some time to calm down but I'm on a knife edge myself and desperate for more information.

"I couldn't call my son, I'm not with him he needs someone to be with him when he hears about Ana. I couldn't call him, I'm so scared of what he'll do if she dies."

I hear more crying and oddly I find myself wiping away a lone tear. I know exactly what Christian will do if he loses his wife, I know because I know him.

"Grace, we need to tell him."

"You, please Jason. I'll talk with him when he's calmer, once he's been told."

"You know Christian, he's not going to get any calmer once he hears about this."

"Please, I can't. I can't be the person that breaks his poor heart."

I hear more crying and eventually relent, telling Grace that I will tell her son the devastating news.

"Thank you, I'll wait for your call."

"Okay, goodbye."

I hang up and will something akin to fear I walk towards the cockpit. I find Christian chatting animatedly with the pilots, he's in good spirits which sadly I'm about to kill.

Looking up his smile quickly vanishes, my face must be the prefect mirror to the pain I'm feeling at this moment.

"What's wrong," he asks stepping away from the crew.

"I need you to step outside," I explain as I lead him towards the bedroom.

We enter and I shut the door behind us then urge him to sit down on the bed. Unlike his normal controlling personality he complies and sits down heavily on the bed.

"Mr Grey, I have something to tell you, but you need to remember where we are and try not to loose it."

"What?"

"Ana's been in an accident, she's badly hurt and, and," I stutter trying to force the words from my mouth.

"AND WHAT," Christian shouts making me jump from the force of his question.

"Christian, I don't thing she's going to make it."

"MAKE WHAT, MAKE WHAT," he shouts leaping up from the bed. He dashes towards be with startling speed and pushes me up against the wall.

"MAKE WHAT, MAKE WHAT," he keeps screaming, pinning me against his body.

"I'm sorry sir, I'm so sorry," I repeat as he pulls back and lands a punch to the wall.

Pulling Christian back from the wall I hold him as tightly as I can and together we sink to the floor. I then watch as the most controlled person I have ever met falls apart right in front of me.

 **Sorry for any confusion with the name change but I wasn't happy with my first choice. Thank you for all your reviews.**


	4. Chapter 4

Standing Still - Chapter Four

I watch outwardly as Carrick arrives at the hospital with Kate and Elliot in tow. Kate's face is blotchy, her eyes red raw and seeing her so upset manages to bring be back to the here and now, as my mothering instincts sink in.

Briskly I walk towards them and reach out for Kate, I hug her tightly and she sinks into my embrace.

"Have you heard anything new," she asks between sobs.

"Nothing, I'm afraid I was escorted out of the theatre when I broke down. I tried to keep it together but she looked so small and vulnerable, it hurt to see her that way."

"Have you talked to Christian yet," Carrick asks as he takes my hand.

"No, I talked to Jason. He's going to call back once Christian is informed. I just hope he can keep it together, they're a long way away."

"Me too," Carrick agrees.

I lead them to the visitors section and silently we all sit down. Carrick sits beside me still holding my hand and Kate sits on my other side. I watch Elliot sit beside her and reach for her hand, he's unusually quiet for my son. A sad serious expression rests on his face and I don't like it, it seems so out of place on my happy go lucky boy.

The stilted atmosphere is soon disrupted my cell phone ringing and I hurry to answer it, knowing it's my son.

"Christian," I ask softly.

"Mom, tell me," he asks, his voice choked with uncertainty.

"She's fighting sweetheart, it's the best we can hope for right now."

"Have you seen her," he murmurs.

"I have," is all I manage to tell him in return. How do I tell my son just how bad his wife looked when I saw her last.

"Did she say anything, was she in pain," he sobs.

"Darling Ana was sedated when I saw her, the doctors gave her drugs to keep her comfortable. I promise you Ana isn't in any pain anymore."

"But she was, she was suffering and where was I, on a God damn plane. I'm thousands of miles away from her, she needs me."

"Christian I know it's hard but you need to keep it together. We're all here for Ana, we'll keep her safe and look after her."

"Her parents," he asks suddenly.

"Ray is on his way to the hospital, I'm sure he'll be here soon. I'm afraid I couldn't get hold of Carla."

"Typical, the one time Ana needs her. Please keep trying and call me when Ray arrives I need to tell him that I'm sorry."

"Christian you didn't know this was going to happen. You're a wonderful husband and Ray knows that."

Silence follows my statement, then I hear Christian crying. I wipe away some tears of my own as I wish I could be with him now just to hold him.

"Mom," he suddenly voices brokenly.

"I'm here sweetheart."

"Do you think Ana will die?"

I swallow a sob at his question then take a deep breath.

"I can't answer that, I don't know."

"Medically speaking, you know. What are the odds that I will see her alive."

I'm silent as I weigh up what to tell my son. I was there, I was in the theatre and I know Ana's odds aren't good, not good at all.

"Please, tell me Mom. You don't lie, don't lie to me."

"It's unlikely she will come back from this," I whisper softly.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry sweetheart," I repeat but only silence follows.

I wait hoping Christian will talk back to me but he never comes back on the phone. Eventually I hear Jason's voice and he informs me that Christian has locked himself in the bedroom.

"Jason, I'm scared, can you hear anything."

"Nothing, he's quiet."

"Jason can you open the door," I ask fearing Christian is about to do something stupid.

"I have a key somewhere, hang on I'll go get it."

I wait anxiously as I listen to Jason thumping around in the background. Carrick looks up at me and seems to tell that something is very wrong.

"Grace what is it?" he asks but I shush him when I hear Jason pick the phone back up.

"I have the key, I'm opening the door right now," he explains.

I should have lied, I shouldn't have told Christian everything. Not when he's so far away and can do nothing to help.

"I have him," says Jason and those small three words seem to fill me with hope.

"Is he okay," I practically shout.

"He's safe," is all Jason will say.

I know why because I realise quickly my son is a long way from being okay. I wait for Jason to say something else as I hear he talking softly to my boy.

"I'll stay with him Grace and I'll keep an eye on him. I promise I won't let him do anything stupid."

"Thank you," I sob and together we both hang up.

"What's wrong," asks my husband the second I look up.

"Nothing, everything," I say then break down in his open arms.

Carrick's POV

We've been waiting here for hours but so far nobody's told us anything. Ray arrived about an hour ago but so far Carla is still unreachable.

Mia and Ethan were here but reluctantly they when back to Christian's house to help Gail with the children. Kate and Elliot left Ava with Gail on her insistence so I'm sure she needs some extra help.

Kate won't leave and Elliot won't leave Kate so Mia's presence will have to do if Ava is lonesome. Happily we're a close family and the children all love to hang out with their extended family.

Grace has been a rock and will do anything to help Ray during this nightmare. God knows what she saw in that theatre, she wont tell anyone of us.

Christian hasn't been in touch since his talk with Grace but Jason Taylor has called several times to touch base.

I still can't believe where we are especially when I think that just yesterday everyone was safe and well. Now Mr Reynolds is dead, Luke Sawyer is unconscious with a nasty concussion and Ana, poor Ana only God knows.

"Family of Anastasia Grey," asks a man in a white lab coat that has somehow managed to sneak up on us.

"Yes," says Grace and Ray together as they jump to their feet.

"Please, sit down," he says ominously waving his hand to the chairs.

"My daughter," Ray questions.

"She's alive," the doctor exclaims and an audible sign passes from us all.

He then sits down across from us and gently starts to explain Ana's injuries.

"She's not out of the woods so to speak but at present she's finally stable. Her injuries though are extensive and if she manages to pull though we're looking at a vey long recovery time."

"What are her injuries," Kate asks interrupting the good doctor.

"Severe blood loss with resulting shock. A fractured pelvis with possible spinal damage. Several broken ribs, internal bleeding, whiplash and numerous soft tissue lacerations due to broken glass."

We're all silent as he lists Ana's many injuries. I can hardly believe that anyone can come back from this, let alone my petite and slender daughter in law.

"She's in recovery and as soon as her blood pressure rises she'll be moved to intensive care," he elaborates when none of us reply.

"When can I see her," asks Ray the first to find his voice.

"As soon as we move her you can visit but only briefly, she's still very sick remember."

I nod my head when no one else responds and the doctor excuses himself rather sharply.

"She's alive," I reiterate hopefully as I look at the sea of sad faces.

"Yes," says Grace then she suddenly breaks down. I do my best to comfort my wife but I can't do much when my own mind is reeling.


	5. Chapter 5

Standing Still - Chapter Five

I'm alone in the bedroom suite of the GEH company jet waiting for the plane to be refuelled. I asked Taylor to supervise the refuel so that we can take off as soon as possible.

I'm still reeling from the news of my wife and desperate to get home to her and my children. I've spoken with my Mom but it was a difficult conversation and I had to pass the phone to Taylor when it all got too much for me. I keep running the conversation we had over and over in my mind, I just can't accept my mothers thoughts on Ana's condition.

I remember saying goodbye to my wife just hours ago, I was up early because I had to leave by 7.00am. Ana was sleeping and gently caressed her cheek to wake her and say goodbye.

Ana has a standing rule that we never leave the house without saying a goodbye. It's a good rule and all the more significant now when I may never get to tell her that again.

We kissed and she made me promise to be careful and to come home to her in one piece. I regret not making her make a similar promise I just bobbed my head and assured her I'd stay safe.

Even at the early hour I remember that she waved goodbye at the window as Taylor drove us down the driveway. I waved back and smiled as she blew me several kisses, oh God what if I never see her smile again.

The thought has me rushing to the bathroom and losing what's left of my lunch. I was going to take Taylor out for dinner once we landed so lunch was the last meal I ate.

I heave several more times then sink down against the toilet. Taylor finds me seconds later to say that the plane is ready and that we need to get in our seats.

I buckle up and stare out of the window indifferently, it's early morning in Tokyo and I can see all the thousands of commuters getting ready to start their day.

Eventually the landscape becomes obscured by clouds but I keep staring at the white peaks as my mind wanders. I look down at my watch and note that it's almost 6.00pm back in Seattle.

Based on things Taylor has found out Ana was involved in her accident at around 2.00pm. She leaves work early to spend the afternoons with the children and was on her way to the house.

It wasn't until 4.00pm that my Mom finally found out that Ana had been caught up in the crash. And due to our poor connections on route I didn't find out about Ana until 5.00pm when we landed.

It's taken almost an hour to refuel and find two fresh pilots who were willing to take us back to the states. God knows what's happened to Ana since them, I'm almost too afraid to find out.

A hour into the flight and my cell starts ringing, I look down at the caller id and see that it's my Mom. A blind panic settles over me as I hold up my cell like it's going to explode.

I know Taylor's been in touch with my Mom since we took off but so far she's had nothing new to impart. Sensing a change I shove the cell towards Taylor and sink down in my seat terrified that this it. Ana's dead I feel it deep within me I know what's coming and I just don't what to play a part in it.

"Hello," I hear Taylor's anxious greeting.

"Yes," he says glancing in my direction.

Then I wait as I watch Taylor listening to my mother. The pause is unbearable and I find myself staring at every nuance in Taylors face in the hope of discerning if the news is good or bad.

Finally he looks up and holds the phone out towards me, I shake my head unwillingly.

"Ana's stable Christian, she made it through the surgery," says Taylor with a brief smile.

I shake my head again not believing what he's saying as I pull nervously at my hair. Taylor walks closer and tries again to pass over the phone, but I keep shaking my head.

Then gently he holds the phone against my ear and I can hear my mother trying to comfort me.

"Christian, Christian darling. She's out of surgery, she's out," she repeats until I'm able to respond.

"Have you seen her," I softly ask.

"Not yet sweetheart she's still in recovery but once she's moved to the ICU we'll be allowed to see her."

"ICU?" I ask fearfully.

"It's standard for the type of injuries Ana's sustained and the best place for her. People will be monitoring her around the clock and all Ana's needs will be met there."

"What are her injuries," I tentatively ask.

"Ana fractured her pelvis, but the surgeons were able to repair the fracture in surgery."

"What else," I ask fearing my mother is being deliberately vague.

"The fracture caused a significant amount of blood loss but transfusions were given and her blood pressure has stabilised."

"And," I ask irritated by how my Mom is doling out the information.

"Several broken ribs, but they will all heal in time and minor cuts and abrasions."

"There's more, you're holding something back. She was in surgery so long, you thought she wouldn't make it."

Mom's silent and I start to hyperventilate, what's she hiding from me, what can't she say.

"Christian we don't know anything for certain. Things change and it's still early days."

"Know what?" I shout into the telephone.

"Christian Ana may have some spinal damage."

"What?"

"We won't know until Ana wakes up, but there's a chance."

"Could she still die," I ask more concerned about that possibility than the other.

Mom's quiet again and with that she practically confirms my question.

"She's still very sick," she admits.

"When you see her will you ask her to hang on for me," I sob.

"Of course I will and we're all praying for her sweetheart."

"Call me once you've seen her," I ask.

"I will, I have to go now because the doctors just arrived."

"Is everything alright," I snap.

"Everything is as it was, he just came to tell us that we can see her now."

"Can you tell her that I lover her," I ask.

"I will but I know that Ana knows that, just hang on and be safe."

"I will, goodbye."

"Goodbye darling."


	6. Chapter 6

Standing Still - Chapter Six

Doctor Stephens leads me and Ray towards the ICU, only two people are allowed to visit Ana at a time. Ray hangs back as we walk to the door and gently I take his arm and lead him inside. We're greeted by all the sounds associated with an ICU unit and I try to reassure Ray that all the noises are normal.

As we approach Ana I see that she's heavily sedated and still receiving blood products through an IV. A ventilator is helping her breathe and various other machines are monitoring her vitals.

I'm concerned by how pale she is and as I reach over to hold her hand it scares me when I feel her cold palm against own. Ray must feel it too because he starts to rub her other hand between his own.

"Why is she so cold?" he asks looking up at the doctor.

"Ana lost a lot of blood in the accident and her body went into shock. It will take time for her body temperature to normalise but we are helping the process by using our warming blankets."

"Can she hear us?" Ray questions.

"It's unlikely Ana's been sedated to help her body recover but you never know for sure."

I look over at the doctor as he picks up Ana's chart to review it and wonder if I could also take a peek. Patting Ana's hand as I lay in back on the bed I walk over to the doctor and ask if I can look at the chart. He seems a bit taken a back by my question but seeing me in my white coat and hospital ID he hands over the chart.

I scan the pages and discover that Ana's heart has stopped beating on numerous occasions. Twice at the scene of the accident and once at the hospital during her surgery.

"We weren't informed that Ana flatlined and more than once," I query.

"What!" Ray exclaims looking away from Ana.

"Mrs Grey's body was in shock, fortunately she was resuscitated swiftly and no permanent damage was sustained."

"Why did no one tell us about this," I ask.

"The surgeon probably thought the information was unnecessary especially given everything your family has already been through."

"Could she stop breathing again?" asks Ray suddenly.

"At the moment her heart rate is steady and her blood pressure is slowly rising. But if she were to have another bleed then it's possible she could have another cardiac arrest."

Ray pales at his words and stumbles slightly so I make him take a seat. He's shaking slightly and one of the ICU nurses goes to fetch him some water. Taking short sips of the water he eventually starts to look a little better but I really think some fresh air might help too. Knowing others are in the waiting room wanting to see Ana I persuade Ray to take a walk with me and reluctantly he follows.

Before we leave with both kiss Ana and I keep my promise to my son by asking Ana to hang on for her husband. Stroking her face I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear then listen as Ray talks softly to his daughter.

Outside her room we both start crying and only Carrick's presence manages to soothe me. Together we help Ray out into the night air then settle on a nearby bench. Poor Ray looks lost as I hold his hand while my other is wrapped tight in my husbands.

We sit for awhile and watch in silence the stars slowly becoming visible in the night sky. I stare up and think of my son, somewhere far up in the darkness and pray he's holding it together.

Taylor's POV

I wake with a jerk as my brain slowly processes where I am, then I scan around for Christian. He's not with me so I stumble to my feet and wonder towards the bedroom. My body's stiff from falling asleep in a chair so I stretch out my arms and twist my neck. Knocking on the door I push it open before I get a reply and find Christian sitting on the floor his back resting against the bed.

"Sir are you okay, I'm so sorry I fell asleep."

He fails to answer so I bend down and look straight into his eyes. His vision clears and finally he jerks his head to show he's present.

"Are you okay," I repeat.

He nods his head half heartedly then continues to stare at a spot on the wall. Looking down at my watch I see that it's almost midnight, with luck in four more hours we'll be home.

"It's almost twelve sir, we're that much closer to home. Have you heard anything new from your mother," I ask, still annoyed with myself that I fell asleep.

"She called around nine to tell me that she's seen Ana twice now and that she's looking a lot better."

"That's great news," I enthuse.

"She stopped breathing," he suddenly mutters.

"What, when?"

"Just after the accident and during the surgery, she just stopped breathing."

"But she starting breathing again. Sir, your wife's a fighter and stronger than us both in her way."

Christian smiles then nods his head as he finally looks directly at me.

 **Sorry this is such a short chapter but I found this chapter harder to write than the others. Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and for those who asked about my other story Missed, I'm hoping to continue with it sometime in the future. But so far I don't plan on working on it anytime soon and after one reviewer pointed out how similar my last chapter was to an earlier one I realised I needed a break from that story as I was starting to repeat myself.**


	7. Chapter 7

Standing Still - Chapter Seven

Due to heavy winds we don't touch down in Seattle till 5.00am and Christian's beside himself. He managed to control himself till 4.00am but the delay has make him a nervous wreak.

Ryan is waiting for us at the airport and from there we drive straight to the hospital. I didn't trust myself to drive, I'm exhausted from almost 24hours on a plane and the constant supervision of Christian.

Ryan drives along the highway in silence, the only sound in the car being the thump of Christian's foot as he bounces it up and down. I call Grace to tell her we're almost there and she tells me where she will meet us.

Finally I see the large building of the University of Washington Medical Center and as we drive closer I can see Grace waiting by the entrance. On seeing his mother Christian dashes from the car before Ryan has even stopped. I wait for him to park then jump out too and rush over, watching as Grace embraces her son.

"How is she?" asks Christian emotionally.

"Stable, she's still sedated but the transfusions have finally been stopped," Grace explains.

I hold open the door and allow Christian and his mother to walk inside first then follow behind, keeping up with the fast pace Christian is setting. Stepping into the elevator I watch as we slowly rise while Christian is pacing tensely.

On exiting Grace guides us along a corridor and then another until we see the sign for the ICU. I wait outside greeted by Carrick and Elliot as Christian's mother gently takes him onto the unit.

Grace's POV

Guiding my son through the double doors I feel his hand suddenly grasp my own so I squeeze it back reassuringly. Looking over at Ana's bed I can see Ray and Kate sat with her both silent and contemplative. Ray looks up and attempts to get up to allow Christian some time with his wife.

"No you stay Ray, I'll leave," I suggest remembering the two people at a time rule.

"No, stay with Christian he needs you Grace, I'll take Kate for a coffee."

Kate nods and together they get up to leave but not before they both pat my son encouraging on the shoulder. All this time and Christian's just been staring at Ana, he hasn't said a word. I see tears falling slowly down his cheeks but he doesn't wipe them away.

"Christian?" I ask softy.

He doesn't speak his gaze still on Ana, then slowly he staggers closer to the bed. I watch him sink down on the chair Ray just vacated then lean his body over the bed.

He reaches cautiously for her hand then wraps in between his own, kissing and rubbing it against his face. He cries harder now his eyes full of sadness, his shoulders shaking with every sob.

I walk closer to him and rub my hand against his back but I find I can't soothe him. Poor Christian continues to study his wife his eyes roaming over her body, taking in the machines and Ana's altered appearance.

"Don't die," says Christian suddenly.

"Don't leave me here without you. It's selfish I know but I cannot face this world alone, life's hard enough. I've struggled all my life and then you found me and I knew you were special and everyday since I endeavoured to deserve you."

Christian pauses to take a breathe then continues, opening his heart in a way I thought wasn't possible.

"I love you Ana, I love you so much it hurts. You were suppose to protect my heart but instead you broke it," he sobs.

I pull a tissue from my purse and hand it to my son but he doesn't take it I doubt he even sees it.

"Christian please, calm down or they'll ask us to leave."

"Why did she do it," he asks, finally noticing I'm in the room with him.

"Do what?"

"Why didn't she look after it better," he sobs.

"Christian your not making sense, look after what?"

"My heart," he chokes out his voice strangled.

I crouch down and he sinks into my open arms where I hold him as tightly as I can.

"Sweetheart, Ana couldn't prevent what happened, it was an accident. I know she wouldn't want you to feel this way but when you love someone there's always a risk of a broken heart. You can't hide from it and you can't ignore love to protect yourself."

"It hurts."

"Love hurts."

In time Christian's sobs lessen and soon he's able to look at Ana and hold her hand again. He looks at her face intently then leans over and kisses her forehead, her mouth inaccessible because of the breathing tube.

"I'm sorry I blamed you baby, I know you would never hurt me on purpose. I'm mad but not at you, I'm mad at myself for not being here when you needed me. I'm mad at the driver of the truck, I'm even mad at Reynolds because he was driving the car. I know how insane that sounds especially since he died in that car. I'm sorry Ana, I'm sorry this happened to you."

Lightly I stroke Christian's hair and rub circles on his back. His hair is soft just like when he was a little boy. But I wouldn't have been able to rub his back then, it's only because of Ana that I can do it now.

Sweet Ana the dearest and most loving person he could have picked to spend his life with. A wonderful mother and a patient soul who has helped Christian so much and made him who he is today.

I sit with my son for a long time but eventually I feel like he really needs to go home and rest. He's had a long journey and he has two children at home who really need to see him.

"Christian I think we should go soon," I encourage.

"No, I'm not leaving her."

"But the children, they were so upset last night and you can't expect Gail to look after them indefinitely."

"I won't leave her again, please don't ask me to do so."

I see the set of his jaw and realise I'm not going to win. He's tired and upset and I don't want to leave him but I can't stand thinking of my grandbabies upset.

"Fine, I will go to the house and see the children but son Ana could be here for awhile and you can't stay here forever."

"Maybe I can't but I can stay here now and I intend to stay. Thank you for everything Mom, it means a lot."

"Okay sweetheart, just no more tears. Ana wouldn't like to see you so upset and she'll be waking up soon."

"You think."

"I do."


	8. Chapter 8

Standing Still - Chapter Eight

It's been three days since the accident and still my Ana sleeps. The sedation was lessened and eventually stopped but Ana remains unconscious, the only change being that her breathing tube was removed today.

I've been home twice in that time and spent several hours with my children. Phoebe is just eight months old and it breaks my heart every time she calls for Mama. It's the only word she can say so we all hear it repeatedly throughout each day.

Ana was desperate for Phoebe to learn her name first after our son's first word was Dada. Ana made a point of saying 'Mama' so often that eventually it stuck and she was so happy I didn't dare spoil it by pointing out she had somewhat skewed the odds.

Teddy's been a bit of a handful and thrown a tantrum everyday since the accident. He's at that age apparently and my mother assures me he will grow out of it but at three years and two months he really should have passed the terrible twos by now.

Yesterday I got so cross with his that I lost it and shouted so loudly that I made him jump. He cried for Ana for over an hour and I hated myself for scaring my son.

My parents have been great and are spending a lot of time with the children so I can stay at the hospital for longer. Elliot and Kate have also helped but with little Ava to contend with their time is in demand.

Carla finally contacted me two days after the accident to explain her absence. She walked out on my wife and Ray when Ana was in her early teens and they don't have much contact. I think the last time we saw her was at our wedding and since then she emigrated to Italy with her new husband.

Not surprising Carla told me she couldn't come over to Seattle right now and then spent the rest of the conversation trying to justify that decision. I don't care myself but I know how much seeing Carla would mean to Ana, that is if she ever wakes up.

My sister Mia was also away but speaking with her was another story completely. She said she was coming home immediately and the very next day she turned up at the hospital. Ethan her boyfriend was with her and I quickly realised they had come straight from the airport. I'm lucky I have such a loving family and people willing to stop anything to help me and Ana.

I'm just coming through the door of our house when I hear an almighty crash followed by loud voices and a baby crying. Rushing inside I run towards the commotion to find my son has just smashed a window in the French doors. There's glass everywhere and he's standing looking at what he's done quietly sobbing.

The noise must have scared Phoebe because she's screaming in Gail's arms while I try to extricate Teddy away from the broken glass.

"Is he hurt," asks Gail nervously.

I sit him on the kitchen table and run my hands over his body looking for any blood. The shock has passed and now he's screaming just as loudly as his baby sister.

"Teddy it's okay let me look at you," I ask but he's struggling to get away from me.

My head is pounding from the noise both my children are making and quickly my patience runs out.

"STOP," I shout and Teddy stares at me meekly while Phoebe chokes on a sob.

For three seconds peace falls on my household and then they just start back up only louder. Gail takes Phoebe into the kitchen and soon manages to pacify her with her binky but Teddy doesn't seem able to calm down.

Picking him up I rock him in my arms but try as I might nothing seems to work.

"I want Momma," he sobs rubbing his snotty nose on my shirt.

"Mommy's not well sweetheart, Daddy will just have to do."

"No, not Daddy. Momma, Momma, MOMMY" he screams.

Oh God I can't even soothe my son, everything's falling apart without Ana. Gail comes back and switches the children so I'm now holding my baby girl.

Her little face is all blotchy but at least she's stopped crying. I watch Gail holding my little boy and after rocking him for a few minutes he quiets and eventually falls asleep.

"Thank you," I offer reluctantly, but deep down all I feel is failure.

Gail takes him to put him to bed and I take Phoebe into the living room and away from all the glass. I play with her for a while then give Phoebe her bottle. She sucks contentedly on my knee and I rest my face against her soft hair.

She's so beautiful and Ana's double in more ways than one. Phoebe is so calm and patient and the most easy going baby alive just like her mother. While Teddy is stubborn, a bit controlling and sometimes displays a really bad temper like me. Hopefully though Ted will outgrow my bad attributes and gain some of his mothers good ones.

After her bottle I take Phoebe to her bedroom and lay her down for bed. She watches me intently then whimpers the moment I leave the room. Rushing back I sit down in the rocking chair and wait for Phoebe to fall asleep, not wanted to see her upset again.

In time she falls silent so on tip toes I sneak from the room. I then enter Teddy's bedroom to find him sleeping peacefully his little hands holding tight to stuffed monkey.

Smiling wistfully I tuck his blanket more securely around him and gently kiss his forehead.

"Goodnight sweetheart, Daddy's so sorry he was cross with you."

I look one more time at my mini me then walk out into the hallway. staring out the window I see the darkness descending and sudden fear overwhelms me. I don't think I can do this, I'm just not a good father anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

Standing Still - Chapter Nine

I'm sitting beside Ana and gently holding her hand, as Elliot reads aloud from a Jane Austen novel. I can tell from his voice that he's bored out of his mind but he keeps reading because like me he loves Ana.

We all made it a point that someone will always be with Ana so she doesn't wake up alone. Mia and Ethan come in the early hours of the morning which suits them as they are still getting over their jet lag. Grace and Carrick come most afternoon and Christian and Ray each morning. Although Christian comes and goes throughout the day. We have the evening shift which works well with are work schedules and my Mom helps out by looking after Ava for us.

Looking down absently at my watch I see that it's almost ten and know Christian will be here soon as he likes to say goodnight to Ana. Elliot must read my mind because he stops reading and marks the page my folding over the paper at the corner.

"Didn't bring a bookmark then," I mock.

"Sorry, next time I'll be more prepared. So do you think Christian will be early again."

"Definitely, unless something at home delays him. I know Teddy's been a bit of a handful."

"No wonder, it can't be easy for him."

"No, I was thinking maybe..."

My sentence is cut short by the feeling of pressure around my hand. I stare down and see Ana's hand loosely holding onto me. I snap my head up cricking my neck in the process and see Ana's blue eyes staring back at me.

"Ana, oh Ana can you hear me," I ask uncertainly.

Ana doesn't respond, instead her eyes move around the room then come to rest back on my face. I squeeze her hand lightly as Elliot dashes from the room, hopefully in search of a nurse or doctor.

"Ana, you were in an accident do you remember?"

Ana swallows then in a croaky voice manages to ask her first question. "Christian."

"Christian's on his way, he's at home with the children," I explain.

"Is he okay," she asks with difficulty.

"He will be now your awake, you really scared us."

"He was there, was he hurt?" Ana rasps.

"No, he wasn't in the accident Ana. He and Taylor were on their way to Japan."

Just then the doors open and Doctor Stephens followed by my husband rush through. He approaches Ana and starts asking questions while shining a pen light into her eyes checking for reactions.

"Its good to finally meet you Mrs Grey, how do you feel."

Ana looks at the doctor and tries to sit up but instead a mask of terror sinks onto her face.

"I can't move," she says panicky.

"Can you feel me holding your hand," I ask giving it another squeeze.

"I can feel you Kate but I can't move, oh God I can't move my legs either."

"Now Ana try to calm down and let me have a look," says the doctor.

"Go, call Christian," I tell Elliot wanting him to give Ana some privacy while the doctor examines her. He nods his head then walks outside into the corridor.

The doctor then pulls back the blankets and runs his fingers up Ana's legs. I hold her hand tighter and I feel Ana lightly squeeze back.

"Can you feel me touching your legs," he asks.

"No," sobs Ana.

Pulling a tissue from my purse I carefully wipe away her tears as I try my best to comfort my best friend. I watch the doctor then take out a sterilised needle from a small packet and then press it into her flesh.

Ana flinches as he pierces her skin and I feel her body move slightly on the bed.

"I felt that," she tells me and I smile letting her know that was a good thing.

The doctor pokes the needle up both her legs at different junctures and about 90 percent of the time Ana reacts normally to the pain.

"That's good, you did good. Now I just want to test your arm strength and touch sensitivity."

He then presses against her arms and hands testing her feeling. When Ana says she can feel him he forgoes the needle test and we both smile with relief.

"It's good you still have feeling in your arms and legs and in time I'm sure with physical therapy you will get some movement back."

"Some?" both Ana and I question.

"Possibly all but it's still early days and I'm sorry but you do have some spinal damage from the accident."

"Spinal damage, am I going to be paralysed?" asks Ana fearfully.

"I don't think so, but it's going to take time and a lot of work to get you walking again."

Ana flinches and I see the pallor in her face increase. "Are you okay, are you in any pain," I ask.

Ana nods then fixes her gaze towards her stomach.

"Is it your stomach, does it hurt."

"Lower," Ana explains.

"Ana you fractured your pelvis in the accident, is it around this point where it hurts," asks Doctor Stephens pointing to her pelvis.

"Yes can you stop the pain," Ana asks, a lone tear falling down her cheek.

I wipe it away and suddenly start re-enacting the scene from Terms of Endearment where Shirley MacLaine loses it.

"Please can you give her something," I demand.

"I can give you some Morphine but it may make you feel a little strange."

"Give it," I say.

"Ana, do you want to try that," asks the doctor ignoring me.

"Will it make me sleepy," she asks hesitantly.

"It probably will."

"Then I don't want it, not yet anyway. I have to stay awake for Christian."

"Ana, Christian will understand."

"I know he will, I just really want to see him."

I nod understandingly as the doctor prepares to leave. "When your ready get one of your friends to use the call button and we'll make you more comfortable."

"Okay, thank you," says Ana politely. I watch him leave then smile at Ana as we wait for Mr money bags to show.

"Are the children alright," asks Ana after a brief pause.

"They're perfect, even more so now that their mother has finally woken up."

"How long was I asleep for," Ana ponders.

"Four days and five nights, Christian's been climbing the walls."

"I bet, is everyone else alright," she asks cryptically.

"The whole family is fine, better now."

"No, I mean Matthew."

"Matthew?" I question not sure who she means.

"Matthew, you know Matthew Reynolds he was driving the car."

I'm silent, probably for the first time ever as I process what Ana just said. How do I tell her that he died in the crash, how do I tell her that Sawyers in a coma.

"He's okay, right," she asks timidly.

"Oh Ana, I'm so sorry but Mr Reynolds didn't survive the accident."

"What, no. It's my fault, it's all my fault," she sobs.

"Nothing is your fault Ana, you didn't cause the accident and you certainly aren't responsible for anybody's death."

"He was driving our car. If only I'd been driving then he would still be alive."

"Maybe but you wouldn't and I don't want to sound cold but I'd rather you live Ana. Think of Teddy and baby Phoebe, would you rather they grew up without their mother and think of Christian. I'm sorry but without you that man is pretty useless, he can barely breathe without you."

"I feel responsible."

"Well your not and the sooner you realise that the better. Things happen we can't always stop and assigning blame helps no one."

Ana nods noncommittally as the door suddenly bangs open making us both jump. We both look over and there standing in the doorway is Christian.


	10. Chapter 10

Standing Still - Chapter Ten

My cell rings just as I'm leaving the house, looking down I see it's was my brother.

"What's wrong," I ask aware that he's with Ana.

"Ana's awake," he announces excitedly.

I hang up, jump in the car and zoom towards the hospital. I can't believe it Ana's awake, finally awake. Leaving the car parked outside the hospital I dash through the doors at break neck speed.

"Hey you, you can't leave your car there." someone shouts but I don't turn back.

Running along the corridor I stop for the elevator but it's taking so long I can't wait. I take the stairs two at a time instead and arrive at the ICU breathless and extremely nervous.

Elliot is waiting for me outside her room but I can't find any words for him so without thought I throw the door open. My eyes are drawn straight to her face and even with my unorthodox arrival she's smiling at me.

At first I seem unable to move and just stare at her stupidly, then Kate pulls me inside effectively ending my stupor. Walking closer to the bed I reach for her hand and kiss each finger tenderly. I then bend down and kiss each cheek, her forehead and finally her soft pale lips.

"I missed you," I explain finally finding my voice.

Ana doesn't respond at first she just continues to stare, appraising me quite carefully.

"You don't look well, are you okay Christian," she asks softly.

"I'm fine, I wasn't hurt and unconscious for almost five days. Are you okay, are you in pain," I ask cautiously.

"She is," says Kate before Ana can answer.

I look to Ana but she doesn't reply but I can tell by the slight flush to her cheeks that what Kate said is true.

"Have they given you anything," I question.

"I didn't want them too."

"Why."

"I wanted to see you, they said it would make me sleepy."

"Well I'm here and you've seen me now please as much as I want to talk to you, I want you pain free more."

Ana won't agree I know my wife and she's almost as stubborn as my son. I look at Kate and she presses the button to alert the nurse.

"I want you, don't go," says Ana as the nurse enters.

"I'm going nowhere, just please take the medication," I demand.

Ana nods reluctantly so the nurse injects a clear liquid into Ana's IV. Within a few seconds I can already see it taking affect as Ana's gaze becomes less focused.

"Do you feel okay," I ask stroking her arm.

"Woozy."

"I'm sure that's normal," I tell her then look to the nurse who nods her head.

"I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. This will just help with the pain and when you wake up we can spend some time together."

Ana nods but says nothing, her eyes have closed but I can still feel her holding onto my hand.

When I'm sure she's asleep I look over at Kate, I want to know what happened before I arrived.

"I missed her waking up," I lament still stroking along Ana's slim arm.

"She asked if you were okay, I think she thought you were in the accident with her."

"She did, I almost wish I had been. I hate to think of her all alone and in pain."

"Well it's good thing that you weren't because Ana is really going to need your support, now that she's awake."

"Do you know something," I ask.

"The doctor was here, he gave Ana some tests."

"What tests," I snap back.

"He looked at her reactions to evaluate her level of spinal injury," explains Kate.

Sitting beside Ana I suddenly feel faint so I rest my head back. Looking up at the perforations in the ceiling tiles I try to prevent the nausea that's now rising up in my stomach.

"Is it bad?" I mumble.

I feel Kate sit down beside my and gently rest her hand on my shoulder. Instantly the nausea increases, it's bad I know it and now Kate of all people is giving me her sympathy.

"Ana has complete feeling in her left leg and partial in her right. She can feel her arms and has some minor movement in both. The doctor thinks that with a lot of physical therapy she can walk again."

I listen to Kate's words but nothings sinking in. Did she sat Ana will walk again or did I imagine that.

"It's good news Christian, of course there will be a lot of work involved for Ana but she can recover."

"Completely," I ask hopefully.

"It's possible. The feeling in her right leg could get better and even if it doesn't it's still more than we could have hoped for."

"It is. I still can't believe that I got to talk to her today and she talked back."

"Maybe Elliot can flag down Ana's doctor and you can talk to him. He certainly knows more about this stuff than me."

"Okay, could you ask him."

"Sure, be back in a minute."

Kate walks outside to find Elliot or perhaps to track the doctor down herself. I watch her disappear then look back at my wife, who has a small smile etched on her face. I wonder if she's dreaming or if the smile is due to our meeting. I hope it's the latter because I know I'm wearing a similar smile now that Ana is back.

 **Sorry this is my shortest chapter yet but I'm experiencing some writers block at the moment. Hopefully it will end soon and I can write some longer chapters but until then it's this or nothing. Thank you for all the lovely reviews and for reading.**


	11. Chapter 11

Standing Still - Chapter Eleven

I haven't seen a lot of Mr Grey in the past few days, he practically lives at the hospital. He's home briefly to see the children but I'm so busy keeping up with the housework that I only ever catch a quick glimpse of him.

Jason thinks I'm doing too much but I want to help take care of the children, anyone new coming in will just upset them.

Phoebe's been no trouble at all and her easy going temperament has made looking after her almost stress free. Teddy on the other hand has certainly caused me to grow a few more grey hairs and develop and almost permanent headache.

I try my best to be patient with him but his tantrums have increased and without Ana it's hard to soothe him. Grace has visited the house several times and together we've tried to steer his outbursts into a more peaceful direction.

I'm so behind with all my chores though, even with Jason's help. Grace offered to send her housekeeper to the house to help out but I declined. I'm fairly particular and like things done a certain way, also I don't want the children to be unsettled by someone new in their house.

I've just put the children down for their afternoon naps when coming down the stairs I spot my elusive employer. He's standing in the kitchen peering into the refrigerator.

"Can I get you anything," I ask as I reach the kitchen.

"Oh Gail, I was just looking for your famous soup," he explains.

"I think I have some in the freezer, I haven't made a batch for a while."

Routing through the freezer I pull out several containers I believe hold soup and pull off the lids to check.

"Yes, I have chicken noodle, cream of tomato or vegetable broth."

"Chicken noodle," says Christian firmly.

"Okay, let me just heat it up for you and there's some fresh bread in the bread bin."

"Oh no it's not for me, Ana's doctor said she could try to eat something. She can't have anything solid yet so I thought maybe she could have some soup. I'm so glad there was chicken noodle, you know how much Ana loves it especially when it's yours."

"I'm glad too, maybe I should make some more," I speculate.

"No, I couldn't ask you to do that, your rushed off your feet as it is. I'll try her with this and there's still plenty to pick from. Just promise me you'll put the rest by for Ana."

"I promise, no one will have soup again until Ana can manage something more solid."

"Thank you, really thank you so much Gail. I don't know what I would do without you. You've helped me so much and I know I've been remiss in showing my gratitude."

"You've had a lot on your mind, I understand. How about you go kiss those babies and I'll heat up the soup for Ana."

"Thank you I will," and I smile as Christian dashes up the staircase.

I then heat a little of the soup and pour it into an insulated container. I have some left over so I store it back of the freezer towards the back so no one can see it.

Once Christian returns I hand him the container and he smiles then does something I never would have expected. He bends down and places a chaste kiss on my cheek.

"Thank you Gail."

"Your very welcome Mr Grey."

Christian's POV

Leaving the house with Gail's soup in hand I drive back to the hospital, happy in the knowledge that my wife can finally eat something. Up until now she's been fed through a feeding tube and I can't wait for it to be removed so I can see Ana's face without impediment.

Entering her room I see her gaze fixed towards the window. Yesterday Ana was moved from the ICU and she's now situated in a large private room with no rules about visitors or how many she can have.

"I'm back and I brought soup," I exclaim as her gaze settles on me.

"Chicken noodle?"

"Of course but unfortunately you can't have any crackers just yet."

"I'll settle for the soup," she says happily.

I pull the table across the bed and put the soup down on it. Then fetching some napkins from my bag I lay one over Ana's chest. Ana's propped up in bed, supported by several pillows so it shouldn't be hard for her to eat in that position.

Gail and her good thinking has included a spoon so I place it in Ana's hand as I uncover the soup. Ana smiles but doesn't make a move and then I realise how stupid I am because she can't and I know that.

"Sorry," I say sadly taking the spoon from her hand.

Ana just smiles then stares at the soup a little despondently. Why am I such an idiot, I know she cant lift either arm and I place the spoon in her hand.

Bending down I softly kiss her lips then dunk the spoon into the soup. Carefully I lift the spoon to her mouth and Ana obediently opens. I can tell from her silence that she's not loving this and it hurts to know that she's probably embarrassed.

"Well I finally got to feed my wife and you know how much I've wanted to do that since we met." I joke once Ana's eaten as much as she can.

"I knew you would enjoy that but I'm sorry because I didn't. I don't want you to have to feed me like I'm one of the children."

"I want too, I'm your husband and nobody gets to feed you but me."

"I'm sorry," says Ana again.

"Well stop being sorry because your going to have to get use to it. I like feeding you, you know that and more than that I need too."

"You need too," asks Ana uncertainly.

"I need too, I want you to eat and get stronger. I want to take you home Ana, but I can't until your eating better."

"Okay," says Ana reluctantly as I kiss her lips once more.

"Good, now did you enjoy your soup. You certainly ate more than I thought you would."

"That's because my helper wouldn't stop giving me another spoonful until it was all gone."

"Your helper," I ask amused by the term.

"Yes my helper, tall, wild hair and very controlling."

"Sounds like my son," I tell Ana whilst smirking.

"Yes it does, maybe their related."

"They better be Mrs Grey or later you and I are going to have words."

Ana laughs at my statement and I can't help but join in. A few days ago I didn't think I would never hear that laughter again.


	12. Chapter 12

Standing Still - Chapter Twelve

Now that Ana is out of the ICU we both decide it's time for her and the children to be reunited. My Mom and Taylor are picking them up from the house and bringing them to the hospital this morning.

Waiting for them to arrive I look over at Ana and can tell she's anxious about seeing the children. She's sitting up in bed, propped up with pillows and tapping her fingers nervously on the bed.

"It's going to be fine," I tell her.

"I can't even hold them," she says sadly.

"I'm going to help you, Ana they just need to see you."

"I need to see them too, but I'm just not the same Mommy they remember."

"Your exactly the same and they will see that."

We're interrupted by a light knock on the door and then as it opens I see Teddy march inside. He's followed by my mother holding Phoebe in her arms and I can see Taylor standing outside not choosing to come in.

Teddy darts to the bed the second he sees Ana and tries to climb up by pulling on the sheets. I quickly reach for him and pick him up then settle him on the bed beside Ana.

"Remember Mommy is sore so be gentle with her," I tell him.

Teddy looks at Ana closely as he shifts his body nearer. He stares at the IV in her hand then using his fingers he softly traces the small cuts and bruises on Ana's face.

"Mommy," he sobs sadly.

"It's alright sweetheart, Mommy's feeling a lot better now that your here," says Ana.

"Mommy has lots of boo-boos," he says solemnly.

"Mommy does but they are getting better," I tell my son.

Teddy leans into Ana's side and wraps his chubby hands around her waist. I watch Ana try to move her arms but all she manages to do is stroke Teddy's foot with her hand.

I sit behind her and move her arms so that they're wrapped around our son. Ana then rests her head on Teddy's and together they close their eyes.

"I missed you Teddy bear," says Ana sadly.

"Missed Mommy," says Teddy's in a plaintive little voice.

Ana's fingers can just reach Teddy's head and she's stroking his curly hair rhythmically. A tear falls from her cheek and not able to wipe it away I watch my mother gently dab Ana's eyes with a tissue.

"I have someone else here who wants to say hello," says my Mom.

Teddy shifts and sits up then reaches towards Phoebe. "Look Fee-bee Mommy," says Teddy smiling for the first time in days as he points at Ana.

Phoebe looks at Ana as she sucks on her fingers, I think she maybe teething again.

"Hey baby girl," Ana says smiling as my Mom places her beside Teddy. I reach around and hold her in place while still keeping hold of Teddy.

Phoebe just continues to stare at Ana then looks back around for my mother. I see her bottom lip protrude and realise we're probably only seconds away from one of Phoebes rare meltdowns.

"Oh baby girl don't cry," says Ana sadly.

But before the words have even left her mouth Phoebe's eyes fill with tears. I try to jiggle her but she moves away from me and screams for my mother. Unsure what to do my Mom looks over sadly and I nod my head allowing her to take back my daughter.

Mom bounces her on her hip and eventually she stops crying but every now and then she lets out a heartbreaking sob.

"Do you think she's forgotten me," asks Ana softly.

"Not possible, its only been eight days. Maybe she's just crabby and she's teething," I point out.

"Phoebe's never crabby, she's the most even-tempered baby there is. Do I not look like myself, maybe I don't look the same," Ana contemplates.

"You look as good as anyone can after such a terrible accident. Your beautiful Ana," I say firmly.

"Boot-e-ful," says Teddy and I can't hide my smile at my little echo.

Ana smiles too at our son and encouraged by his audience he starts chatting away at a mile a minute. Teddy certainly is a chatter box but he hasn't been lately and I realise that without Ana he has been an usually quiet little boy.

He keeps us entertained as my Mom sits down on the chair beside the bed and holds Phoebe on her knee. Every now and then Phoebe looks over thoughtfully but sadly her usually smiling face remains solemn.

After a short while as Teddy is regaling us with his rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, Phoebe starts to look a bit more alert.

Then it happens, Ana bursts out laughing and we all join in at Teddy's altered lyrics. Phoebe smiles as she hears Ana giggle then without warning throws herself forward towards the bed. Luckily my Mom catches her before she falls but she continues to reach for the bed.

"Mama," she shouts out making us all jump. "Mama, Mama," she repeats, her tiny hands reaching out for Ana.

Mom places her back on the bed and together we position her in Ana's waiting arms.

"There's my angel," says Ana ecstatically. Phoebe smiles as she grabs hold of Ana's gown then rests her head on my wife's shoulder.

She calls for Ana several more times then settles against her eventually falling asleep. Ana keeps stroking the little wisps of hair at the nape of her neck and kissing her as often as she is able.

"I think she knows who are," I joke.

"It took her some time though."

"She got there in the end. It's that giggle of yours, it's very memorable."

Grace's POV

Poor Ana she really looks broken hearted when Phoebe starts to cry. I'm not sure what's upsetting my granddaughter but the hospital is certainly a strange environment. Ana may not look the same to her lying in a hospital bed or she may not smell the way Phoebe remembers.

Infants see the world so differently from us that there could be a myriad of changes that we just don't notice. I'll ask Gail when I take the children home if Phoebe has been acting any differently, it maybe just bad timing taking her to the hospital today.

Happily once everyone was more settled Phoebe grew more comfortable with Ana and fought to be with her mother.

It's noon now and I really need to get the children home so they can have lunch before their naptime. Phoebe slept for a little while but now she's wide awake and sucking on Ana's fingers. She must be hungry so I start to pack up the toys we brought and get ready to leave.

Sensing what's about to happen Teddy starts to throw the mother of all tantrums. He runs towards Ana and starts to scream at the top of his voice.

"NOT GOING STAY WITH MOMMY," he shouts angrily.

Before we can stop him he's pulled himself onto the bed and leaped on Ana. I see her flinch then wince as his full body weight drops onto her body.

Christian swoops in and pulls him unceremoniously away from Ana. Holding him in his arms he shouts so loudly that Teddy is momentarily subdued.

Ana pales as she watches the scene playing out but sadly is unable to intervene.

"STOP IT NOW," shouts Christian.

"STAY, STAY," begs Teddy, stretching his little arms towards Ana.

Angry and seeing how upset this is making Ana, Christian dashes from the room taking Teddy with him. We hear them shouting out in the corridor and even Taylor can be heard trying to make peace.

"I'm sorry Grace," says Ana as I bounce Phoebe who's looking like she might cry again.

"Sorry?" I question.

"Sorry for the way Teddy and Christian are behaving. You took time from your busy schedule to bring the children for a visit and look what's happened."

"Sweetheart you have nothing to apologies for, I should have explained better to Teddy why we needed to go home. I know my grandson and I should have expected this kind of drama."

"I'm still sorry, I know he should have grown out of this by now."

"Ana he's still only three years old, my sons almost thirty-two and still throwing tantrums."

"He's scared, he thought Teddy hurt me," Ana explains.

"Did he hurt you?" I question.

"Only a little, I'm still quite sore and he caught me off guard."

"Where, are you still in pain. Maybe the nurse could give you something."

"I'm okay, he's only three remember," Ana says echoing what I just said.

"Still sweetheart are you sure I can't get you anything."

"Can you get me my husband and son," asks Ana thoughtfully.

"I'll try, you just try to relax and I'll bring back."

Carrying Phoebe with me I walk outside into the corridor and I'm greeted by a strange eerie silence.

"If your looking for those two men and that little boy I sent them outside, they were upsetting the patients," a nurses explain.

Shaking my head and trying to hide my embarrassment I go outside to look for them. Fortunately I don't have to look far, on a bench not ten feet away sits Christian and Teddy. Neither appear to be speaking and both are looking in opposite directions.

"Christian really, don't you think your being a bit childish," I ask walking towards them.

"He's sulking I'm just waiting for him to calm down," explains my son moodily.

"Fine, well now where's Jason," I ponder.

"I told him to get the car, it's time the children went home. Really is it too much to ask that they visit Ana without starting World War Three."

"Christian really, they are children, they're not perfect."

"Far from it, we'll be lucky if they allow them to visit again."

"You'll be lucky if they let you back in. Shouting in the hospital, the very one I work at young man."

Christian smirks at my admonishment then turns to stare at his son. He's hunched over, intermittently sobbing.

"Teddy, I'm sorry I shouted," he says softly.

Teddy just keeps sobbing so Christian slides closer towards him.

"Daddy was naughty and Grandma Grace just told me off. I shouldn't have shouted but you can't throw a tantrum in the hospital. There are sick people in the hospital and

they don't want to hear you screaming."

Teddy stops and looks over a Christian, his little face red and blotchy.

"Can I give you hug," asks Christian softly.

Teddy nods then climbs onto Christian's knee. They hug it out and eventually everyone seems to be forgiven.

"Okay now it's time for you and Phoebe to go home, I bet Gail has your lunch all ready for you."

"Mommy," says Teddy trying to hold in his tears.

"Okay you can say goodbye to Mommy but you have to promise not to get upset again. Will you promise," asks Christian.

"Promise," Teddy agrees.

Quickly we walk back to Ana's room and enter. Teddy walks to the bed slowly then looks up at Ana with his red rimmed blue eyes.

"Bye-bye Mommy, Pee-bee and me has to go home," he sniffs.

"Okay baby, bye-bye sweetheart," says Ana softly.

Teddy then walks slowly back to door then turns to look back at Ana. Taking pity on him Christian picks him up and gives him another hug.

"Lets kiss Mommy goodbye buddy," he says and Teddy instantly starts to smile.

They walk back to the bed and together bestow Ana with multiple kisses. I take Phoebe to the bed and she too kisses Ana.

We then wave repeatedly and Ana just manages to lift her hand to give us some small waves back. Christian helps me take the children to the waiting car and we strap them into their car seats.

"So will you bring them back tomorrow," he asks amusedly.

"Maybe the day after, I need a day to recover," I joke.

"Thank you for doing this Mom, I'm sorry we misbehaved. It really meant a lot to Ana even with all the mishaps."

"Okay then tomorrow," I say resignedly.

"God bless you."


	13. Chapter 13

Standing Still - Chapter Thirteen

I attended Matthew Reynolds funeral today with Gail and most of the security team. Of course Sawyer's still sick so he couldn't be there and Ryan is staying at the hospital as Mrs Greys personal security but everyone else was in attendance.

I met with his parents and offered my condolences but I hardly knew what to say. I'm a father myself and I can not imagine what I'd do if I ever lost Sophie.

Mr Grey even managed to come to the funeral bringing his sister Mia as a substitute for Ana. I know Ana wanted to pay her respects too but the doctors wouldn't allow her leave the hospital. I understand she's still in a lot of pain and has lost most movement in her limbs due to minor spinal damage.

Mr Steele and Mr Grey's parents are keeping Ana company and the children are with them while we're all away. I held Gail's hand as the coffin was carried into the church, it made it real somehow knowing that Matthew was laying inside.

Thirty-four is no age to loose your life and the tragedy was seeing the sadness etched on his friends and families faces. Matthew didn't have any children and he wasn't married but that just made his funeral all the more poignant. He was a young man and probably thought he had all the time in the world, but he didn't. He died and because of that his parents lost their son and any promise of grandchildren in the future.

After the service the Reynolds family invited everyone to their house for the wake. It was a small house just outside Seattle but full of all the home comforts I remember from my own childhood home.

The walls were full of family photos and plenty were of Matthew growing up from a child into a young adult. I remember him telling the team of his high school days and how he enjoyed playing football and there were many pictures proving that.

The Reynolds talked about a charity they wanted to start up in Matthew's name to help support victims and victims families involved in road traffic accidents. Mr Grey lent his support as soon as heard what they were planning and offered a large sum of money to help establish the charity. Gail and I also offered to help and many of Matthew's friends also gave their support. It was a testament to Matthew Reynolds just how many people came forward to help with the charity and showed just how much he was loved.

After the funeral I went to the hospital with Mr Grey and as he went left to see his wife I went right and two floors lower to check on Luke. He's looking a lot better since the last time I was here and the doctors expect him to wake any day now.

He suffered a severe concussion in the crash but apart from that he was lucky that he didn't experience anymore serious injuries. He was travelling behind Reynolds and Mrs Grey that day so his injures were much less horrific.

Still he's been comatose for over a week and were all very worried about him. Mr Grey hasn't even told Ana the full extent of his condition because he knows she'll want to see him.

I watched the news reports the morning after the accident and it was said to be one of the largest multiple car pile ups in Seattle's history. Twenty miles of freeway had to be closed and hundreds of commuters had to find alternate routes to work until it was reopened.

Over thirty cars were involved in the pile up and two of those were Mr Grey's. Five people lost their lives and twenty were left seriously injured. The police are still investigating but a poorly maintained big rig seems to be the main culprit of the accident.

The driver was killed as his semi-trailer truck jack-knifed across three lanes of traffic. Killing three people instantly and another four days later from their injuries. We came mighty close to adding another person to the list of dead when Ana's heart stopped beating, thankfully she pulled through.

Of the injured most were brought to the University of Washington Medical Center and twelve remain now, ten days after the collision.

I'm glad the Reynolds are starting their charity the 'Matthew Reynolds Foundation' soon because a lot of families are going to need support. Hopefully with all the donations they received today they can get the charity up and running.

"Hey," I say as I walk over to Sawyer's bed.

His face is healing well from all the little cuts and bruises but his face is unusually pale. His wrist in strapped up with a bandage, but I know it's only bruised and can see the swelling is now gone.

"Ana woke a few days ago, now we're just waiting on you. She keeps asking where you are, but Grey won't tell her you're still here. I'm sure if she knew she would be here urging you to wake up too."

I pause, feeling a bit self-conscious talking to someone who's so deeply asleep. So I sit down on the chair by the bed and just stay for awhile. I feel bad I haven't visited more often especially considering Sawyer has no family to speak of.

I know his father died when he was a child and his mother passed on a few years back. His only sibling lives in New Zealand, I think or possibly Australia and like Reynolds he's unmarried.

I guess is goes with the job and most of the team are either single or divorced. It's certainly difficult maintaining a relationship when you work for Grey, we work such long hours.

Fortunately I found Gail and I thank God I did everyday. She's a really special person and will do anything to help anyone. I know she found the funeral especially hard because she has formed such strong bonds with all the staff.

Gail's bonded with the Grey's too and she's desperate to come and visit Ana. Sadly her work has kept her away and her need to be with the children. Possibly due to the fact she never had children of her own she's able to form such strong ties with the Grey's.

She was heart broken when she learned the full extent of Ana's injuries and then the waiting for news left her nerves raw. What she needs is a nice long holiday away from all the stresses of her job. But she wouldn't go, I know her better than I know myself and my wife wound never leave the Grey's in a time of need.

 **Just a short chapter this time but I wanted to end the debate that the accident was in someway malicious. It wasn't, it was just a tragic accident which I feel is almost worse, Ana and Reynolds were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thank you all for reading and reviewing my story.**


	14. Chapter 14

Standing Still - Chapter Fourteen

I'm heading home to see our children and to give Ana some time to cool off. She just found out about Sawyer and she's pretty mad at me for keeping her in the dark about his condition.

I have my father to thank for revelling Sawyer's state of health to my wife, when he announced he had been to visit him. He back peddled as soon as the words left him, realising he had said too much but the damage had been done.

Ana was so upset especially it seems with me and has been adamant that she's going to see her bodyguard as soon as possible. Try as I might I couldn't persuade her that it wasn't a good idea and then my sweet wife broke down in floods of tears.

It took me my mother, my father and Ray to calm her down, I left her sleeping she was so exhausted.

Gail's going to see her today as soon as I get home so I'm really hoping she can talk some sense into my wife. She's really not well enough to see Sawyer yet, she had an unstable pelvis fracture that had to be surgically repaired. I hate to think how much hardware is keeping Ana's bones in place and I see the level of pain she endures daily.

Her physical therapy can't begin until her pain levels lower and her body is still reeling from everything it when through only twelve days ago.

Pulling up to our large iron gates I punch in the key code and drive up to the house. I hope Teddy's behaving himself, I'm really not in the mood for anymore quarrels today.

Happily as I walk through the front door nothing but silence greets me. I walk further towards the kitchen and I spot Gail loading the dishwasher.

"Nap time," I ask as Gail looks in my direction.

"Yes, they both went down about thirty minutes ago."

"Any problems," I ask hoping for none.

"No, They've both been good as gold all morning. We played early on then Jason and I took them outside to play in the gardens. They ate well at lunchtime and were so exhausted they went down for their naps without a fuss."

"Good, I'm glad things went smoothly and no Teddy tantrums?" I question.

"Not one, he's really been a lot happier since he started seeing Ana."

"Speaking of Ana, she's been a bit upset today so I'm not sure what kind of mood she'll be in when you visit."

"Upset, oh dear what's wrong," asks Gail sympathetically.

"She found out about Sawyer and got pretty cross with me. I know I should have told her but she's been so ill and I didn't want to upset her."

"I understand, how about I head off now and see if I can cheer her up."

"I hope you can and I wish you the best of luck. Thank you so much for your help with the children and I hope you have a nice visit with Ana."

"Your very welcome Mr Grey, goodbye."

"Bye," I reply, silently praying Gail can work her magic on my wife like she has on our children.

Gail's POV

Poor Mr Grey looked very anxious as I left the house. He's been through the mill so to speak, we all have since the horrible day just twelve days earlier.

I'm anxious myself and not because of Ana's possible mood shift but because I'm finally going to see her again.

I've wanted to be with her since the second I heard what had happened. I've been neurotic with worry and only the presence of those two precious children has kept me sane. I can't fathom what's kept Ana's mother away, I've been chomping at the bit to see her.

I reach the hospital in less than twenty minutes and quickly park the car. I hope I don't get lost finding Ana's room especially with the thorough directions Grace has given me.

Fortunately I find the room number without difficulty and lightly knock on the door. There's no answer so I slowly open the door and peek inside. The Grey's must have left because no one apart from Ana is inside and she herself is fast asleep.

I stand by the door for a moment unsure what to do, I debate going down to the cafeteria and coming back later but I'm not particularly hungry. I settle on waiting inside and sit myself down on one on the chairs beside the bed.

Ana's face is partially obscured by the bedding but what I can see is washed out and covered in fading bruises. It shocks me at first at seeing her so changed and delicate, an IV still inserted in her hand giving her what I know not. She sighs in her sleep and her hand twitches but no other part of her body moves.

I feel sad when I remember the girl before, always active and busy looking after those around her. Now she can't move from her bed and the independence she once enjoyed is gone.

Glancing around the room trying to keep a lid on my emotions I notice it's pretty fancy and probably only reserved for VIPs. I'm sure Mr. Grey has set this up and paid a fortune for it. Not that Ana doesn't deserve it, she deserves this and much, much more.

The silence is starting to grate so I walk over to the window and stare outside. There's lots of people across the street enjoying the sunshine in the park and I notice several joggers running laps. Children are shouting as they play, while their mothers and fathers chase after them. So much activity is visible from this window I suddenly wonder if Ana has ever looked out. I almost hope she can't see out from her bed, the view would be too painful.

"Gail," a small voice suddenly asks.

I turn and notice Ana was woken and is staring at me apprehensively.

"Darling, I didn't wake you did I?" I reply walking back to her bedside.

"No, you should have though. How long have you been here?"

"Not long. I wasn't sure if I should come back later when I saw you sleeping, but once I saw you I found I couldn't leave."

"I'm glad your here, I missed you."

"Oh sweetheart I missed you too, how are you feeling," I ask sympathetically.

"Better," is all I get as a reply which leaves me to think Ana's hiding things from me.

I reach for her hand then stop halfway debating if Ana wants me to touch her.

"Can I hold your hand," I ask noticing Ana watching me.

Ana smiles and turns her hand so her palm is open but seems unable to move her arm. Lightly I cover her palm with my own and gently squeeze it. Hand holding is not something I normally do even with Jason but in this moment I just felt I needed too.


	15. Chapter 15

Standing Still - Chapter Fifteen

I've been visiting with Ana for a little over an hour when suddenly she dissolves into tears. We were talking about what the children did today and I said how well behaved they had been when she just broke down.

"Oh Ana, sweetheart don't cry. Everything's going to be okay and you'll be home with them soon I 'm sure."

"I miss them," she sobs brokenly.

"Of course you do and they miss you. Try to think of this as just a little blip in your life, a setback but it won't blight all your blessings. You have a loving husband, two precious children and lots of wonderful friends and family."

"A blip," Ana questions.

"Yes just a blip."

"Teddy was a blip Gail, this is not a blip. It's probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me."

Her tears are falling thick and fast so carefully I settle on the bed and gently pull her into my open arms. She sinks into my embrace and I can see she's trying to hold onto me like I am holding her.

Frustrated her sobs only increase so I gently rock her as I stroke away her tears.

"I can't hold my children," she sobs in my arms.

"I can't wipe away my husbands tears when it gets too much for him, I feel so useless."

"Darling, you are not useless, you never could be. You're very important and everybody in your family has suffered from your absence. I can't say I know how you feel because I don't but please don't think you have nothing to give."

"What can I give?" Ana chokes out.

"Ana you give a great many things to so many people. A loving heart, compassionate to a fault, infinite patience, faithfulness and brave beyond your years."

"I don't feel brave."

"Well you are and the strongest person I have met with the possible exception on your husband."

"Christian is strong, maybe he can get through this."

"You both can, by being strong for each other."

Ana nods her head as she sinks further into my embrace. I feel her shudder then hear wince against me.

"Are you in pain Ana."

"It's not too bad," she responds.

"That didn't answer my question, Darling does it hurt."

Ana's silent then finally admits something to me that I doubt she's told anyone else.

"All the time," she sobs out.

"What?" I ask fearfully worried by what she means.

"It hurts all the time Gail. The pain medication helps but it never goes away completely."

"You're in pain, sweetheart why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I didn't want to scare Christian."

"Ana, this is information your doctors need to have. There could be a problem, where are you hurting," I question sternly.

"My back mostly but there's also pain in my pelvis. It waxes and wanes but the back pain is pretty constant."

"Oh Ana, you should have said something. I'm going to fetch someone to help, this can't be normal."

"NO," Ana shouts. "It's not too bad, it's okay really, I'm fine."

"No, I don't think you are."

"Please don't go I'm scared," Ana admits, finally being truthful.

"I'm scared too but this needs addressing. I'll be back in a minute, just hang on."

Ana says nothing else as I walk away, she just stares at be resignedly. As I close her door I dash towards the reception desk and ask for someone to see Ana.

A nurse about my age offers to come and together we walk back to Ana's room. On the way I explain what's going on and she sends a page to Ana's doctor.

"Hello, Mrs Grey your friend was telling me your is some pain," the nurse announces as we walk inside.

Ana only nods her head slightly as she looks fearfully towards me.

"I've paged Doctor Stephens to take a look at you honey," she says after Ana's lack of response.

"That's good right, then we can get to the bottom of this," I tell Ana. I'm trying to be optimistic but deep down I'm sure something serious is wrong. For Ana to be in constant pain even with medication, it surely can't be normal.

The nurse helps Ana to sit and then proceeds to prod around where Ana said she had pain. Poor Ana winces and calls out as she hits the spot in question.

"Don't please, it hurts," she protests and I have to force myself not to push the nurse away from her.

"Okay, honey," she says finally ceasing her ministrations.

I'm glad when the doctor walks into Ana's room but when he too starts pressing on her back it all gets too much and I demand he give Ana something for the pain.

"I want you to take you down to X-ray just to rule out any obvious problems first," the doctor explains. "Of course an MRI would produce a clearer picture of what going on but after your surgery I'm afraid it's no longer possible."

"What do you mean?" I ask hesitantly.

"The surgeons had to use a metal internal fixation to repair Mrs Grey's pelvic fracture and metal becomes unstable in an MRI because of the magnetic fields."

I nod my head but I'm not sure the information has gone in because I'm too busy thinking about Ana. She hasn't said a word since the doctor arrived and is now staring up at the ceiling.

After about ten minutes two porters arrive and carefully move Ana and her bed towards the door.

"Can I come with her," I ask.

"Sorry but hospital procedure doesn't allow it," the nurse explains.

I look at Ana sadly as she's whisked away then sit back down in my chair waiting for her return. I really should be calling Mr Grey to explain what's happening but for now I just wait and pray that it's nothing too serious.

Half an hour later the porters return wheeling Ana's bed back into place. Ana's laying flat on her back and her eyes are closed.

"Is everything alright," I ask as I see Doctor Stephens re-enter the room.

"The X-ray was clear, with nothing untoward on the film. The pain seems to be pretty localised so I've ordered some more tests. It could just be a result of the trauma but I'll no more when the tests come back."

"Is Ana okay," I ask seeing that she seems to be sleeping.

"Moving her for the X-ray caused Mrs Grey a lot of pain so I administered some strong pain relief. It's had a sedative affect on Ana so I expect she'll be asleep for a while."

"She's okay?" I ask again.

"She'll be fine, the nurse will be checking on her but it's perfectly normal to fall asleep after the drug she received."

"Okay."

"Now if you'll excuse me I have another patient to see," and before I can reply he's gone. I look at Ana's face and notice some tear tracks on her cheeks. She was in pain and was all alone, she's been in pain for twelve days. She waited and kept this to herself only slipping when she saw me. I should have come here sooner, maybe if I had her pain could have been prevented.


	16. Chapter 16

Standing Still - Chapter Sixteen

I'm heading to work but I just want to stop by and see Ana once more before I start my shift. I walk to her room and open the door only to find Gail sitting beside Ana's bed.

"Oh Gail, I didn't think anyone would be with Ana at this hour. I was just checking to see if she needed anything before my nightshift."

"Grace," Gail says oddly, like she's snapping out of a trance.

"Is everything alright," I question seeing the hesitancy on her face.

"No, not really."

"What's wrong, is it Ana?" I wonder as I look over at my sleeping daughter in law.

Gail slowly nods her head then looks down at the floor. I don't like what I see in her eyes so I move to sit beside her.

"Whatever is the matter."

"Ana told me something, something upsetting. I haven't told Mr Grey yet and I'll admit I'm anxious to do so."

"What did Ana say," I ask somewhat fearfully.

Gail looks to Ana as if she's debating whether to tell me or not. She pauses, takes a breath then lets it all out in a jumble of words.

I listen, the shock coming in waves and then anger that Ana has kept this a secret for so long.

"What did Doctor Stephens say," I ask once she has finished.

"He took her down for an X-ray but said nothing untoward was could be found. Then he mentioned something about tests and finding out in a few days time."

"Did Ana fall asleep?" I wonder surprised she could sleep with everything that's just happened.

"No, the doctor gave her something for the pain, it knocked her out."

"Oh."

"I should have gone home awhile ago to start dinner but I couldn't leave her, she was so upset before the doctor came."

"It's okay Gail, you can go. I'll stay and call my son, I'm sure he's just waiting for you so he can come back here."

"But you have to work Grace and I want really want to be here when she wakes up."

"Compromise, you go back now and let Christian come here. I'll stay and tell Christian what's going on. Once he calms down I'll call you and send Carrick to say with the children. You can come back and Ana will probably be awake by then."

"Okay, thank you Grace. I won't say any thing to Mr Grey when I get home, it will only upset him and he still has to drive to the hospital."

"Good idea now don't worry I'll tell him and I'll stay right here with Ana."

"Thank you," Gail says again as she picks up her purse. I watch her kiss Ana's cheek before she leaves then walk swiftly from the room.

God what a mess, I should have know there was something wrong with Ana. She's been so quiet but I just put it down to the accident and her limited mobility.

I step out briefly to call paediatrics and explain that I can't work tonight. I tell my team that I'm still at the hospital encase I'm really needed but that I've been caught up in a family emergency. Thankfully my team seem to understand as they all know about my daughter in law and the freeway accident.

Walking back inside I look at Ana and sigh, why did she keep all this to herself. I sit down and wait for Christian, fearful myself of the reaction I'm about to get from him.

Less than fifteen minutes later and he's coming though the door. Smiling and happy after his afternoon with the children, unaware of what waits for him inside.

"Mom, I didn't think you would be here," he exclaims as he sees me in Ana's room.

"Something came up sweetheart so I thought I'd wait for you."

"What?" Christian questions, looking over at his wife.

"Christian honey sit down."

"No, what's wrong," and again he looks over at Ana.

"I need to tell you something but first I you need to calm down."

"NO," Christian snaps causing me to jump.

"Christian please, sit down and shut up," I say firmly.

Christian stares at me weighting his options, he pauses looks at Ana once more, sighs then finally sits beside me.

"Christian, Gail told me something just before she left about Ana."

"WHAT!" he snaps cutting into my sentence.

"Ana's been hiding something from us," I explain quickly.

"What?" he repeats only whispered this time.

"Ana's been in a lot of pain since the beginning, it's been constant I'm afraid."

"Pain," my son murmurs.

"Yes, it seems it finally came out when Gail was here. She told her she didn't want to worry anyone, but I think she was scared too."

"Constant pain," he just repeats.

"Christian I understand it's difficult but you can't let yourself fall apart over this."

"Fall apart. Mom she lied to me, she's been lying for days. I've asked her a million times if she's in any pain and every time she's said she isn't."

"She was trying to protect you."

"PROTECT ME, I can't do this. Damn it I can't do this anymore."

Christian pulls on his hair pulling some out in his anger. He paces the room a few times then without warning bolts to the door.

"Where are you going," I shout out to him.

"AWAY FROM HERE," he snaps then briskly walks away.

I watch him leave with my jaw open, shocked by his outburst. I want to follow him but I also don't want to leave Ana alone.

I call Elliot and ask him to look for Christian, I explain roughly what's happened and where his brother was last seen. If anyone can find him it's his brother, I just hope Christian wants to be found.

Elliot's POV

Kate, Ava and I have just had dinner when my Mom calls. She wants me to go looking for my brother who's apparently just gone AWOL.

Leaving the house I try calling his cell but of course he's not going to make it too easy for me so he doesn't pick up. I drive to the hospital first to see if I can spot his car. It's pretty obvious when I catch a glimpse, because it's the flashiest one in the lot.

Parking beside it I take a peek inside but it's empty, so I decide to take a walk around the grounds. Thirty minutes later of looking for my dumb ass brother I see him sitting on a bench in the park across the street.

He's staring down at the ground and based on his face I know he's been crying. Creeping towards him I slowly take a seat beside him then lightly tap his shoulder.

"Hey, man these grounds are massive. I've been looking for you forever," I exclaim.

Christian fails to respond so I try again. "Will you come back with me, Mom's sure to be having a cow by now."

"I'm not going back," he says softly.

"Not ever," I smirk not believing him.

"No, I can't do this," he replies.

"Do what?"

"This, it's too hard. It's going to be something bad and I can't face it, not again."

"What's going to be bad?"

"Ana, there's something wrong with her."

"Of course there's something wrong with her. She married you," I say trying to lighten the mood.

"I can't talk to you," he snaps and stands to leave.

"Hey wait up, I'm sorry. What's wrong with Ana, Christian."

"I don't know, I don't want to know. It's going to be bad news and I don't think I can take anymore of it."

"Christian, you don't have much of a choice. You're going to find out and whatever it is you're going to be there. I know you and I know how much you love your wife, you would never walk away from her."

"I just did," he mumbles.

"You needed to get your head straight, I get that. But never going back, I could never understand that."

"I'm scared," he admits and his honesty takes me by surprise.

"I'd be scared too, it's a lot to deal with but think about how Ana's feeling."

"Mom said Ana was scared too."

"Then she need you, will you go back?"

Christian nods his head and together we slowly make our way back to the hospital. He doesn't say much on the way back but he seems calmer.

As we pass Ana's room I open the door and he hesitantly walks back inside.

"Oh Christian, are you okay," Mom asks softly.

He nods his head but doesn't linger as he walks towards the bed. I watch him sit down and take Ana's hand between his two.

"I'm sorry," he exclaims. "You should have told me but I understand why you didn't. You were protecting me but that's not your job to do."

Ana seems to be sleeping but Christian certainly seems lighter after his speech. He stares at his wife with a strange look on his face, then reaches over and softly kisses her lips. I smile knowing my brother is here to stay, then bid my mother goodnight as I leave them. I want to get home and kiss my own wife and daughter and tell them how lucky I am that they are both safe and well.


	17. Chapter 17

Standing Still - Chapter Seventeen

It's been two days since Ana finally confessed to the constant pain she has been enduring. She's undergone various tests and scans to determine the cause but so far nothing has come to light.

At least now she is receiving regular medication to ease her pain but as a side effect she seems to be sleeping a lot more. I'm here at the hospital everyday and split my time between Ana and the children.

I haven't been to work since the accident and have no plans to return anytime soon. Ros it taking care of everything and has managed to delegate most of what I do to several key members of staff. She talks to me on the phone and sends emails so I'm aware of what's going on but for the most part I've become a silent partner within my company.

I'm lucky I have Ros as without her I don't know what I would have done. I'm certainly not ready to go back to work and I don't want to either. I want to be with Ana all the time and when I'm not it's almost painful.

She started physiotherapy this week but so far it's just from the confines of her bed. Her physiotherapist 'Holly' has mostly been concentrating of stretching and moving her limbs. She's a long way off from standing with her pelvis fracture but Holly has been encouraging Ana to move her legs in the bed.

So far Ana's legs remain immobile and even with effort she can't move them but her arm movements have improved a little. She was able to lift her right arm to her face and her left a little higher but it takes her a lot of effort. I hate seeing her struggle to do things we all take for granted but Ana's determined and in time she can only get stronger, I hope.

I bring the children to see her most days and their slowly getting used to the hospital environment. Teddy will chat with anyone and has made a friend of each of Ana's nurses. He's especially fond of Ana's day nurse 'Frankie' and will search for her if she's not where he thinks she should be on his arrival.

The only staff member my son seems to dislikes is Holly, although I'm not sure why because she's great with him. He sulks when she's around and won't talk to her when she asks him a question. Poor Holly must think we have the worst behaved child she known's especially when he starts scowling at her.

He's been particularly naughty today and hasn't let her get close to Ana. Every time she tries he shouts and points at the door.

"Go now," he shouts imperiously.

"Teddy stop that, your being very naughty to Holly," I tell him.

"Time to go, time to go," he says still pointing at the door.

"It will be time to go but not for Holly. You will be going home if you keep this up," I explain.

Teddy pouts at my words, looking so much like his mother that I have to hide my smile. Holly finally makes it to Ana and begins her exercises but Teddy keeps throwing her some very unhappy stares.

When Holly leaves after about twenty minutes Ana falls asleep with Phoebe and I decide to get to the bottom of Teddy's dislike.

"That was very rude to shout at poor Holly," I say as I sit down beside him.

"Don't like Holly," he tells me softly.

"Why, she's so kind to you and she's helping Mommy," I explain.

"Don't like," he repeats sullenly.

"Teddy tell me why," I ask again.

"Holly mean to Mommy, make Mommy cry."

I puzzle what he means by that then remember back to when Holly first came to help Ana. The movements were especially painful that first day and Ana got upset. I thought my son had missed what happened but he saw it all and it seems he didn't forget.

All this time I couldn't work out what Holly had done but now I understand that in Teddy's eyes she hurt his mother. He's held a grudge for days against this woman and all because he was protecting Ana.

"Your a good boy, but Holly wasn't hurting Mommy. She is helping Mommy but Mommy is still sore from the accident."

"Mommy cry," he whispers.

"Mommy cried because of her boo boos, not because of Holly."

"I don't like when Mommy's sad."

"Neither do I buddy, but she's so happy when she sees you and Phoebe."

Teddy smiles and pats the bed gently then looks back towards me.

"Holly nice," he asks thoughtfully.

"Yes, Holly's very nice. Holly is helping Mommy to feel better so that someday soon she can come back home."

"Good, I miss Mommy at home."

"I know buddy but until we can take her home you have to be nice to Holly and let her help Mommy."

"I will, be good boy," he says smiling.

"Good boy," I tell him fondly as I sweep my hang thorough his soft curly hair.

I get out some of his toys and together we play together while the girls enjoy their nap. I'm glad I finally got to the bottom of this and uncovered Teddy's grudge against Holly. If I think about it I'm almost impressed that my son loves his Mom so much. He was looking after her and at only three years that is pretty impressive.

 **Sorry for the delay and the short chapter but I've been too busy to write the last few days. Longer chapters to come I promise but daily updates are not possible at the moment.**

 **Thank you for all your reviews and kind support.**


	18. Chapter 18

Standing Still - Chapter Eighteen

It's been a month now since the accident and Ana is finally being released from the hospital. We've had setback after setback and her health is still not where is was or should be.

I have arranged to have Holly come to the house daily to help with Ana's physical therapy and I've reorganised the gym to meet Ana's requirements. The whole house has had to be modified and I even got Elliot to help build an small elevator so Ana doesn't have to worry about the stairs.

I've also hired a live in nurse to make sure Ana had everything she needs as well as an extra housekeeper to help out Gail. Of course Gail wasn't happy about it but she's really had her hands full with the kids and both her and Ana wouldn't budge on me hiring a nanny.

I'm both scared and excited that Ana can now come home, it's not going to be easy but it needs to happen. The children have missed their mother so much and Ana needs some normality and some good old home comforts.

I can't hide my anxiety though because in so many ways Ana is still very sick and frail. She needs a lot of help and encouragement and I worry that I may not always be able to meet her needs.

I've left the children at home today because the whole family is planning a surprise 'Welcome home' party for Ana. Teddy was desperate to help and little Phoebe was napping when I left the house.

Taylor drives me to the hospital and I'm so nervous I can hardly keep still in my seat. As I enter her room I find her suitcase already packed and Ana waiting for me, already seated in her wheelchair.

"Wow, so ready to go," I ask smiling.

"Definitely, lets roll," she replies enthusiastically.

I pause briefly to lay a kiss on her lips then hand the suitcase to Taylor as I push the wheelchair towards the door. I slowly push her along the corridor and over to the elevator as we say our goodbyes and our thanks to the medical staff.

"Faster," Ana urges as we emerge from the elevator.

"In a hurry Mrs Grey."

"Yes, I want to get out of here before anyone stops me," explains Ana.

"Is someone about to stop you?"

"Hopefully not but you can tell for sure, remember last time."

"I do," I say sadly as I think back to Ana's last failed exit from the hospital.

 **Two Weeks Earlier**

"I'm going home," Ana sings excitedly.

"Yes you are baby and I'm so happy. Do you have everything packed?"

"I do although it was packed for me but I think Molly got it all."

"I'll look around and just check just in case."

I look around the room and through the few drawers but everything looks to have been packed. I'm just coming back from checking the bathroom when I spot Dr. Stephens talking to Ana.

Ana's face is pale and the joy that was there just seconds ago has vanished.

"What's wrong," I ask hesitantly.

"They won't let me go home," sobs Ana brokenly.

"What?"

"Mr Grey a word," Dr. Stephens asks beckoning me to a chair beside my wife.

"I'm afraid Ana's too sick to leave today, we got her test results back and it's not good news."

"What? you said they were just a precaution, you said Ana was okay to go home."

"I was wrong, Ana needs to stay in the hospital for the time being. I'm sorry but going home is just not an option."

"What's wrong with me?" asks Ana softly.

"We found an explanation for the back pain and unfortunately it's a lot more serious than I first thought."

"What is it," I shout annoyed by him not getting to the point.

"Your kidneys were damaged when you fractured your pelvis but it wasn't found at first because your left kidney was still functioning. The back pain was due to the injury and as time has progressed your left kidney function has slowly deteriorated.

Without intervention soon Ana you will get sicker and sicker, you need to start dialysis immediately."

We both stare at the doctor in stunned silence, I can't get my head around what he said.

"No, I'm going home," says Ana breaking the lull.

"You can't leave Ana, you need to stay and get better," the doctor says sadly.

"No, I'm going. I feel fine, there's nothing wrong with me."

"I'm sorry but you can't go, your not ready to leave," he reiterates.

I watch in a daze as Ana tries to move herself towards the door, she's so adamant about leaving she even manages to move the wheelchair.

"You can't leave," I hear the doctor repeat as he tries to pull her back.

"I'M LEAVING," Ana shouts angrily back.

I can't stand watching her she's so upset but I know what needs to happen. I stand and walk towards her then stoop down so I'm facing her.

"Ana we can't go home," I say softly.

"I'M LEAVING," she shouts again.

I take a deep breath but everything shatters inside me and without meaning to I snap.

"FOR GODS SAKE ANA STOP, YOUR GOING NOWHERE," I shout back.

Ana flinches at my words and stops trying to move the wheelchair. She just stares at me her eyes seem so empty that my heart breaks for her.

"I'm sorry for shouting but you need to stay here baby. You need to be well before I can take you home."

"I don't want to stay," she sobs.

"I know, I don't either but you can't go, not now."

I pull her into her arms and hold her and together we break down. I so wanted to take her home today and now I can't. Eventually I pick her up from the wheelchair and carry her back to the bed. I lay her down then lay down beside her and that's where we'll stay for the foreseeable future.

 **Present Day**

That was an awful day, one of the worst days of my life and I certainly have a lot of those. Ana was in the hospital for another two weeks after that day and suffered a lot during that time.

She still has poor function in her left kidney but her right is gone forever. She had to begin dialysis and has been through so many tests and medical procedures that I can't believe she's still so cheerful.

At present her doctors are hoping that her left kidney will recover from the trauma and eventually function again. So far not much has changed and Ana has to endure haemodialysis several times a week for several hours at a time.

I've researched everything I can about kidney failure and realised we were lucky Ana's doctors finally realised what was wrong. Ana could have gotten a lot sicker without the dialysis, she could have died if not for Dr. Stephens intervention.

Ana's nephrologist 'Dr. Austin' was suggested by my mother and she's really been wonderful. She explains things so clearly and has been so reassuring with both Ana and me.

Ana has her bad days as do I but thankfully we never have a bad day at the same time. I hold her hand and she holds mine and together we've managed to get through these last upsetting two weeks.

I can't believe we've pulled it off as we finally drive away from our home for the last month. Watching the large building disappear into the distance both Ana and I cheer but unfortunately I know we'll be back. Ana still has her dialysis and check ups to attend but for now we can't help but smile at our shared freedom.


	19. Chapter 19

Standing Still - Chapter Nineteen

Pulling up to the house I immediately notice all the cars in the driveway and realise any element of surprise is now over for Ana. She looks at me and smiles then brushes her fingers across my cheek.

"So everyone's here," she asks apprehensively.

"I'm afraid so, I'm sorry but everyone just wanted to show you how happy they are that you're home."

"It's okay, It will be nice to see everyone and thank them for helping you and the children."

I smile back then shout for Taylor to bring Ana's wheelchair to her side of the car. I jump out and dash to Ana's side to help and together we help her into the chair.

Pushing her up the driveway I chat with her about the flowers Gail had planted along the walkway. They smell amazing as we brush against them and I smile when Ana complements how welcoming they look.

My Mom meets us at the door and without much effort I manage to push my wife up the ramp and into the house.

As soon as we reach the family room we're greeted by a chorus of cheers as our family welcomes us home. Kate and Elliot swoop in and hug Ana tightly, then Mia and Ethan descend on my poor shell-shocked wife.

Ray waits for a clearing then dives towards his daughter, a bright smile etched on his face. My parents welcome Ana too as Teddy pulls himself into the chair and squeezes his mother closely.

My baby girl and little Ava are both in the nursery napping so we'll have to wait for their welcome. Finally Gail reaches Ana and kneels down beside her so they are both eye level.

"I'm so glad you're home," Gail tells Ana softly.

"Me too, I can't begin to thank you for taking such good care of our children."

"It was my pleasure sweetheart," Gail replies as she runs her hand through Teddy's curls.

"Thank you for visiting and letting me unload on you. I'm so grateful you helped me when I told you my secret and I'm sorry that I burdened you with it."

"Nonsense, I'm glad you trusted me with it. How are you feeling now, can I get you anything," Gail asks breaking the tension.

"I feeling good thanks, glad to be home," Ana replies smiling.

"I'm glad," says Gail.

"Me too," I echo as I pick up Ana and Teddy too and carry them to the sofa.

"There, that should be more comfortable," I announce kissing Ana's cheek.

"Thank you. Can you see if Phoebe's awake yet I really want to see my baby," asks Ana.

"As you wish," I tell Ana then dash upstairs to the nursery.

Ava's sat up smiling as I walk inside but my baby girl is still fast asleep in her crib. Picking up Ava I call out for my brother and soon he's thumping his way up the stairs. I hand him his daughter then carefully scoop up Phoebe and rock her in my arms.

"Come on sweetheart, Mommy's home and wants to see you."

Phoebe stirs but doesn't open her eyes but I still carry her downstairs to my wife.

"Here one baby girl still sleeping," I say as I place her in Ana's open arms.

"Christian you should have left her in her crib, poor baby did Daddy take away your bed," coos Ana.

"I can take her back," I say.

"No don't, let me hold her. She's getting so big and we need to catch up."

I nod my head then reach for my son who's loosely pulling on my trouser leg.

"Can I get you something," I ask.

"Hug daddy," he asks reaching up.

Bending down I pick up Teddy and hug him tightly.

"Are you glad we're home," I ask.

"Not glad, happy," smiles my son.

I guess he's not familiar with the word but I'm happy that he's happy. God knows he's missed us and struggled without Ana. Hopefully things will settle down now we are home and my son can enjoy out constant presence.

A few hours later and the welcome home party seems to be dying down. Ana's dad and Kate, Elliot and Ava have gone home. Ethan and Mia and getting ready to leave and my folks look exhausted.

Teddy's still full on energy and racing up and down the hallway with a toy car Mia brought him. I was trying to wrangle him and get him to calm down but Ana was tired so I took her up to bed.

It's been a long day, happy but long and I can't wait to join Ana in our bed. As she sleeps me and my Mom manage to get the kids to bed. Then we say our goodbyes and they leave to go home. Gail and Taylor go too and I organise for Ana's nurse to set up in one of the guest rooms.

I walk the halls securing the house and turning out lights. I silently creep into the children's bedrooms and give them a final goodnight kiss. I've really missing doing our bedtime routine with the children and I revel in it.

I get to our bedroom eventually and quickly change into my pyjama pants. Pulling back the sheets I carefully settle beside Ana and sigh with relief. It's been so long since Ana shared our bed that just the warmth coming from her side makes me smile.

Taylor's POV

Its good to have Mrs Grey back with us but I realise as Gail and I go home that the Grey's are a long way from being back to normal. Ana needs a nurse and physical therapist at the house to help look after her and Mr Grey is a long way from going back to work.

"Do you think Ana looked alright," Gail asks as soon as we're in our own home.

"Yes, she looks a lot better. They wouldn't have let her come home if she wasn't," I reply.

"She's lost a lot of weight, I need to make her some of her favourite dishes. Clearly the food at the hospital wasn't up to much."

"Mr Grey only gave her the best food from several five star restaurants close to the hospital. I assure you Ana has been very well fed," I explain.

"Still she needs some home comforts and she loves my lasagna. I think maybe I'll make it for tomorrow."

"Ask Christian first because Ana may not be allowed it with the diet the doctors have her on."

"Diet, what diet," asks my wife a little taken aback.

"The diet because of her kidney damage, she can't have a lot of fluids and salt is a big no, no. I don't know much more about it but Mr Grey had a diet sheet and I'm sure he'll make Ana stick to it."

"Poor thing, I had no idea she had to follow a particular diet. Of course I'll check with Mr Grey and make sure I follow the diet sheet. I understand Mr Grey is trying to get hold of a dialysis machine so Ana can stay at home for her treatments."

"Yes, his mother is helping to sort it out but it might be tricky. Of course the expense isn't a problem but getting hold of one and shipping it in one piece may be a problem."

"Well I'm sure Christian will find a solution, he'd do anything for Ana. How was Luke when you saw him," asks Gail completely changing the subject.

"Okay I guess, he has a bit more colour but there's still no change."

"Oh dear. I really must get out to see him, I hate to think of him all alone."

"Don't worry he's had plenty of visitors," I explain.

"He has, who?"

"Well me of course and Mr Grey, Ryan stops by and several of the other guys. Grace checks in on him everyday and even Mia and Kate have been to see him."

"And Ana," asks Gail.

"Yes I forgot about Ana. She was finally able to see him the day she was first discharged from the hospital. Of course that didn't pan out so she's visited him every day since. Even when she really wasn't up for it she went up to see him and hold his hand."

"They were close, like brother and sister," says Gail thoughtfully.

"They are close," I amend not wanted to think in past tenses.

"Yes, I just wish he would wake up. It's been far too long are the doctors still hopeful."

"They are, all his scans are clear and the swelling to his brain has receded. I guess Luke just needs a bit more time before he wakes up."

"What will happen then," asks Gail sympathetically.

"Grey wants him to stay here at the house, he's even talked about hiring another nurse to look after him."

"That was nice of him."

"Yes though I'm sure a lot of it was down to Ana. I think Christian was a little jealous at first when he saw how upset Ana was about Luke. But they talked and Ana explained how she loved him like a brother, besides our Luke is quite clearly gay. I'm surprised Grey never realised before, he even met one of his boyfriends once."

"You know Mr Grey he thinks the world is after his wife."

"True, well hopefully he can put away his jealous nature and help Sawyer once he wakes up. He'll probably need physical therapy too, he and Ana will be able to help each other get through it."

"Well lets hope it's soon and then we can have Luke back home just like Ana."

I nod my head in agreement as we settle down in our bed. It's cosy as I pull Gail into my arms and kiss her soft lips.

"Goodnight love," I say softy.

"Goodnight sweetheart."


	20. Chapter 20

Standing Still - Chapter Twenty

It's almost been a month since Ana came home and I can't say the transition has been easy. It's been a real learning curve getting to know Ana's new routine and working around everyone here to help her.

Holly comes everyday except Sundays and stays for a few hours at a time. She's really brought Ana along and seeing her progress is really amazing.

We have two nurses that work alternative shifts so there is always medical assistance available. Carol works days, has bags of experience and has really grown attached to Ana. Sandy works nights and sleeps in the one of the guest rooms as she is so rarely needed.

Mr Grey is back working part-time but most of his working hours are spent at home in his office. If he leaves he's seldom gone long and loves to annoy us all with his constant phone calls to make sure Ana's okay.

He managed to get hold of a dialysis machine a few weeks ago and had it set up in the master bedroom. It's been a blessing having it on hand and Ana has benefited from not having to go to hospital four times a week for her treatments.

Carol's worked as a dialysis nurse for roughly three decades so she knows exactly what to do with the machine. Ana usually spends three to four hours having the treatments and thanks to Mr Grey she can now relax in her own bed during those hours.

I'm very aware now of Ana's diet and to help with meals we have all adopted to it. It's probably done us all the world of good cutting back on our salt intake.

Still Ana has her good days and bad and it's always great to be here for the good ones. Ana's smiling and laughing and spending as much time as she can with the children. She gives them ever once of her energy and works so hard during her therapy sessions that I sometimes fear she will overdo it. When the bad days come and they sadly do, I seldom see her. She stays in her room and sleeps mostly and sometimes I hear her quietly sobbing as Mr Grey tries his best to cheer her up.

It's a good day for everyone when Ana is happy but when the dark days come I yearn to break free from the house and run away. Often at night I when I hear Christian's melancholy music and I instantly know a dark day is looming. It's as though a sadness sinks in from the open windows and infects all within.

Today we're fortunate to be having a good day although I'm not sure little Phoebe would agree. She's been fussy all morning and her cheeks are flushed, a sure sign of trouble brewing.

I check to see if she has a temperature but nothings changed so I make up a bottle to see if it will cheer her. She sucks enthusiastically for a bit but quickly looses interest and looks around for her mother. Over the last four weeks mother and baby have certainly re-bonded and now Phoebe is always on the look out for Ana.

Phoebe's soon in tears so I decide to find Ana in the hope that she can stop baby Greys tears. I find Ana resting in her bedroom with Teddy snuggled up beside her. She looks up as I walk inside and reaches out for Phoebe.

"Baby girl, what's wrong," she asks as I hand her the baby.

Phoebe stares still sobbing and pushes her fingers into her mouth. I see some drool drop down on the bedding and go to fetch a towel from the en-suite.

"Sweetheart is it those nasty teeth again," coos Ana.

"Mama, ma ma mama," Phoebe practically replies.

I smile at Phoebe's answer and realise it's the first thing she's said all day.

Phoebe then slumps in Ana's arms and I reach down to support the precarious weight. With my help we settle her on the bed and with the constant stroke of Ana's fingers through her hair she soon drifts off.

"I'm sorry I bothered you but I just couldn't settle her," I whisper not wanting to wake the children.

"No apology needed Gail, I heard her crying and hoped you would bring her to me."

"Can I get you anything," I ask suddenly feeling awkward.

"No thank you, you just brought me everything I could ever need," smiles Ana.

I smile back and pat her hand, she looks exhausted poor thing. I stay until I see Carol then knowing she's not alone I go back to my housework.

Ana's been working so hard that she tires easily and unfortunately the children never let her sleep for long. Christian's been on at her about hiring a nanny again but she got so upset that I told him flat out that a nanny was not necessary.

I do a load of laundry and make a start on lunch when I hear someone crying upstairs. Dashing up the stairs I find Carol bouncing Teddy on her hip as he sobs his little heart out.

"What's wrong Teddy bear," I ask him.

Seeing me he reaches out so I take him and wipe his tears away with my hanky. Amazingly both Ana and Phoebe remain sleeping so I take him outside and head to his bedroom.

"What happened," I ask softly.

"Bad dream," sobs Teddy clinging to my shirt.

"Oh dear, well it's okay now sweetheart. It's all okay."

He sobs a few more times then eventually settles. I give him his favourite stuffed toy then carry him downstairs.

"How about something to eat, are you hungry," I ask.

"Hungry," he says nodding.

I sit him in his chair then finish his lunch as he looks around sleepily.

"Mommy," he suddenly asks.

"Mommy's sleeping," I explain.

"Mommy," he asks again.

Oh no his face is getting red and I fear he's getting ready to throw another tantrum. He's been doing that more and more often lately especially during the times when he can't be with Ana. I know he senses something's not quite right with his mother and so acts out but it's getting really annoying.

He threw what Mr Grey refers to as a level five yesterday and we were all tearing our hair out. He only calmed down because Ana came down from her nap to see what was going on. Mr Grey looses his patience with him and tends to shout which only makes it worse. I've starting bargaining with him which also doesn't help, but I just what him to be quiet so he doesn't upset Ana.

I pass him his lunch and even give him some of his favourite chocolate cake in the hopes of preventing a melt down. I know I shouldn't reward bad behaviour but he's only three and going through a really hard time right now.

"Got cake," he exclaims then smiles like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

I can't help but smile back, his happiness almost as infectious as his mothers. I watch him tuck in and bask in the momentary silence. It won't last I know but for now I intend to enjoy it.


	21. Chapter 21

Standing Still - Twenty-one

Waking up in a strange place and not knowing how you got there is certainly disconcerting. I stare around my new surroundings and based on the décor and various medical equipment I guess that I'm in a hospital.

I call out for someone to explain what's happened but my voice is pretty weak and no one seems to hear me. Thinking over my last memories I try to piece everything together but there must be gaps because I just can't work it out.

"Hello, is anyone there," I call out again and wait for someone to answer.

The door opens and a friendly faced nurse walks through smiling at me like I'm an old acquaintance of hers.

"Welcome back Mr Sawyer," she says in greeting.

"What happened?"

"You were in an car accident honey, you hit your head."

"I did," I ask dumbfounded.

"Yes, you brought yourself to the emergency room. You seemed fine at first but you went down hill quickly I'm afraid. You've been sleeping for awhile."

"How long?" I wonder.

"Just over two months," she tells me.

"Why don't I remember what happened."

"Head injuries often cause memory loss, especially memories linked to the trauma," she explains.

"Two months?" I question, not able to wrap my mind around that length of time.

"Two months, one week and three days to be exact. You left a lot of people worried sick about you, probably thought you would never wake up."

"I guess so," I say in reply but I think I've stopped listening. I can't stop thinking about all the time I've missed and how quickly I'll be able to leave this place.

I try to pull myself up on the bed but I'm really stiff and my arms and legs aren't cooperating. With effort I manage to pull away the bed sheets and look down to check if everything is where it should be. After my assessment I can confirm that nothing is out of place and that my limbs are only weak, not absent.

"Everything in order," asks my nurse tucking the covers back around me.

"I think so, when do you think I'll be able to go home," I query.

"Not yet, so settle down and behave. You still have a lot of healing to do and your doctor hasn't even accessed you yet."

"Is he on his way," I ask.

"I paged HER and of course SHE'S on HER way," she replies emphasising my error.

I fall back on my pillow and close my eyes, I only wish I could remember what event brought me here.

Eventually my doctor appears and starts flashing her tiny flashlight in my eyes. The bright light hurts my head so I close my eyes and try to push her away.

She prods and pokes then continues to ask multiple questions and my head hurts more as I try to answer her. Finally recognising I'm in pain she gives me a shot of something and then everything just seems to disappear.

Colours, noises, peoples faces float around me without form, nothing seems real. Then I find myself driving in one of Greys black SUVS, I appear to be on the highway. Up ahead I hear the screeching of brakes and the sound of skidding tyres.

Then Ana and I are walking along the corridor of Grey Publishing, we're chatting and then I press the button for the elevator. We get out at the parking level and I open her car door as Reynolds pulls up beside us.

"Thank you Luke, I'll see you at the house," she says sitting down in the back seat.

I wave briefly then walk towards my own vehicle, funny it's the same one I was driving on the highway.

Things blur and stop making sense after that and inevitably I wake. Was I dreaming or was that a real memory I was reliving, I don't understand.

"Hey," says a familiar voice and turning my head I spot Taylor.

"Hey," I reply then the memory of my dream comes back to me and a sick feeling forms in the pit of my stomach.

"What happened?" I ask.

"There was an accident on the highway, a lot of people were injured," he explains.

"Where was I,"

"You were driving Grey 2,"

"Was I following Grey 1," I question dreading the answer.

"You were, it was ahead of you and unfortunately was also caught up in the accident."

"Was I following Ana, were we heading back to the house."

"You were, I'm sorry Luke but we lost someone."

I panic at his answer, my mind instantly thinking of Ana. Did she die, was she badly hurt.

"Ana?" I ask in an odd strangled voice.

"No, we lost Matthew Reynolds, he was driving the car."

"He died," I repeat rather taken aback.

Taylor nods his head and we're both silent for a moment. It's hard to understand everything that's happened and discovering Reynolds is dead is a big shock.

We worked together side by side for years and I certainly thought of him as a good friend. I wasn't at his funeral, I don't even know if his family lived nearby.

Taylor pats my shoulder as he gives me a look that's very unlike his normal professionalism. It's kind, sympathetic and in spite of my own mixed feelings his presence seems to sooth me. Looking down I nod my head and he sits back down in his chair beside the bed.

"Was Ana alright," I finally ask once the shock has lessened.

"She's a lot better but no I don't think she's alright," he replies honestly.

"What do you mean?"

"She was hurt quite badly and it's taking time for her to recover."

"Where is she, is she here at the hospital," I ask.

"No she was discharged more than a month ago, she's back home with Grey and the children."

"Good," I say out loud believing she must a lot better to have been discharged.

"Yes, she's loving being back at home but she's still pretty sick I'm afraid."

"Sick, what happened to her," I question for the hundredth time today.

"Mrs Grey has some spinal damage and sadly due to severe trauma her kidney function is practically zero."

"What?"

"She's on dialysis and having daily Physical therapy to help her gain some movement."

"Is she paralysed?" I ask softy.

"No, she's just weak like you, It's going to take time."

"I guess," I reply sadly.

It's going to take time for both of us. Still once I'm free to leave the hospital I know I'll get better, it's Ana I not so sure about.


	22. Chapter 22

Standing Still - Twenty-two

Ana's been chomping at the bit to see Sawyer especially now that he's awake but so far I haven't allowed it. I want to take her to see him and I'm almost as anxious as Ana to see how Sawyer's doing but Ana hasn't been too well of late and I'm afraid she's just not up to the visit.

I've been spending most of my time of late with our children and the occasional trip to the office. Ana tries to play with the children but she's almost always exhausted and has little energy to spare after her physical therapy.

Her days are filled with therapy and dialysis and the rest she spends mostly asleep, she's always so tired these days. My Mom said it's normal and certainly dialysis causes fatigue but I miss my wife and I know she misses me and the children.

Today I'm returning from a brief trip to the office to check on Ana. Holly called to say she's leaving early as Ana's just not up to her normal workout today.

On entering the house it's unusually quiet for 11.00am so I wonder towards the kitchen to find out where everyone is. I spot Gail pulling some cookies from the oven and ask her what's going on.

"They smell nice Gail, where is everyone," I ask.

"Oh Mr Grey, you sneaked up on me again," she says startled.

"Sorry."

"Phoebe's having a nap and your brother and Kate just left with Teddy. Seems they have the day off and thought Teddy would enjoy the Aquarium they are taking Ava to."

"That was nice of them, he'll love it."

"Yes, he was thrilled and with Ana not feeling too well it's good for him not to be here today."

"Ana's not well?" I ask thinking back to how she was feeling when I left this morning.

"Poor thing is exhausted, Holly just left but I don't think they did much today. Carol was sitting with her when I brought them some tea not ten minutes ago. I started making the cookies in the hope it would cheer her up some."

"Ana's unhappy," I ask equally surprised.

"Discouraged, I think she thinks she should have worked harder today. She's not well enough for that and I told her but she's still so disappointed with herself."

"I'll go up and see her," I say then dash towards the staircase.

On entering our bedroom I find the curtains pulled closed and the room semi dark due to the bright sunshine outside. Carol is sitting by the window struggling to read and Ana is fast asleep in our bed.

"Take a break," I tell Carol as I walk closer to the bed.

Carol gets up from her chair and walks towards the door. I watch her leave then gently sit down on the bed and sink down beside my wife. She really does look exhausted and a lot paler then when I left her.

I hate these days when I feel so useless, sinking further down I pull her small body into my open arms and sigh. Holding tight my mind wanders and eventually without meaning to I fall asleep.

I wake to the sound of a baby crying and at first I can't comprehend where the noise is coming from. I live alone just me and my many staff, I certainly don't have a baby. Then realisation sinks in as I wake up further and feel Ana's warm body in my arms. I smile to myself as all my memories come flooding back and the knowledge that I am blessed to have a loving wife and two beautiful children.

Sadly in the dawn of my recollections I also remember what's happened in the last few months and what happened to my Ana. I hate that feeling when everything comes back but I can't help but enjoy those first fleeting moments when I get to forget and just believe that we are like any normal family. But seeing Ana so pale I see everything so plainly as I get up to fetch my daughter.

I open her bedroom door and see Gail gently bouncing my baby on her hip. Phoebe is holding onto Gail tightly as her sobs decrease her tiny fist rubbing at her eyes sleepily.

"Mama, mama," she's saying softly and I'm hit with a painful realisation.

For months Gail has waited on my baby girl and soothed away her tears. She's fed her and bathed her, dressed her and played with her. Does Phoebe think Gail is now her mother, has she forgotten who truly holds that position.

As upsetting as it is to hear her call Gail Mama I'm more concerned at how Ana would feel if she knew what I know. She's missed so much time with the children, it would kill her to think she's been replaced in Phoebe's mind.

Gail looks up and seeing something in my face that I can only feel she asks what's wrong.

"Is everything alright, is Ana okay," she asks sympathetically.

"Ana's still sleeping, can I take her," I ask.

"Of course," Gail replies handing me my baby girl.

"Hey sweetheart did you have a good nap," I ask softly.

"Mama, mama," says Phoebe staring up into my eyes.

I smile, suddenly comforted when she calls me Mama too. Perhaps I'm just being overly dramatic, my baby girl certainly thinks we're all her Mama.

I rock her then gently squeeze her against me, she's so like her mother it's unreal.

"That's Dada," says Gail smiling.

"Mama," says Phoebe and I've never been so happy to be called by the wrong name.

Gail's POV

Mr Grey has been gone for awhile when I hear Miss Phoebe's cry over the baby monitor. It's almost 1.00pm and no doubt she's hungry for her lunch, she's slept too long and I can hear she's cranky.

"Mama," she calls as I walk into the nursery.

Reaching down and picking her up she snuggles into my arms, clinging to me.

"Hey baby girl are you hungry," I coo.

She's such a precious baby and like her mother in so many ways. I've grown so attached to her that I feel closer to her than just a housekeeper/nanny. I feel so close to Ana that the children feel almost like my grandbabies, although having no children of my own I can only guess at what that might feel like.

Hearing Phoebe call me Mama though makes me sad all the same because I'm not Ana and I would never what to take her place. I look up and see Mr Grey and his face is so consumed with grief I suddenly fear something is wrong with Ana. I hand him the baby and together we smile as Phoebe calls her father 'Mama' too.

I leave Mr Grey and Phoebe and decide to make a start on lunch. I'm running a bit behind today, my own fault for starting a baking project before all my other tasks were done. Still Ana comes first in my mind and if my cookies manage to make her smile even for a second it will be worth it.

After lunch I finish off some housework while Mr Grey keeps Phoebe entertained. I can hear her laughter all the way to the utility room where I'm busy with the laundry.

Once my load has finished I fold the towels then make a start on the children's ironing. Little shirts and t-shits and several of Teddy's pants are now airing and finishing up I fold away the ironing board.

Stepping into the family room I notice it's quiet so I assume Phoebe is now down for her afternoon nap.

I decide to bring Ana her cookies thinking she might now be awake. I set up a tray and boil the kettle so I can bring her some tea as well. I have to be careful as she's limited to the amount of fluid she can consume because of her dialysis.

Carrying up the trap I lightly knock on the door and wait for an answer. Carol opens the door and smiles in way of greeting. Ana's sitting up in bed and holding Phoebe in her arms, she looks up and smiles too.

"Hey," I whisper not wanting to wake Phoebe.

"Hi," she replies.

"I though you might be hungry since you missed lunch."

She smiles at the cookies then looks back down at the little girl asleep in her arms.

"I can take her to bed if you'd like," I offer.

"No please let her stay," asks Ana.

I help lay the baby on the bed and together we wrap her up in the comforter. She seems happy here, her little cheeks flushed from her mothers warmth.

Ana starts on the cookies and I help to pour the tea. I brought extra cups so all three of us can join in. I wonder briefly where Mr Grey is when he suddenly appears at the door.

"Ladies only," he enquires smirking.

"I'm sure we can make an exception," says Ana.

I pour him some tea and he sits down beside Ana. We chat for a bit then I clear away our cups and start to make a move with the tray.

"Thank you for the cookies Gail," says Ana happily.

"It's my pleasure, do you want to try for a sandwich," I ask hopefully.

"Maybe later," says Ana causing Mr Grey to scowl.

"You should eat something else," he tells her.

"I'm full, later," Ana explains closing her eyes.

I fear she's getting tired again and I only hope Mr Grey will let this go. I know how much he worries when Ana's doesn't eat but she ate two cookies so at least she had something.

I watch him smile and nod his head in understanding so I leave them alone. It's hard for everyone when Ana has a bad day but for some reason it seems the hardest on Christian. Maybe tomorrow Ana will have more energy but for now I can just hope she gets more rest and that Mr Grey manages to keep it together.


	23. Chapter 23

Standing Still - Twenty-three

I'm looking forward to a visit from Ana today, I'm not sure when but Jason said she and Grey were coming to up to see me. I've been awake now for a little over five days and although Grey has come to visit Ana has so far been too sick to come too.

I'm sitting up in bed wearing my work out gear as I have just come back from my physical therapy. It certainly hasn't been easy but John my physiotherapist has really helped me get through it.

I look up as my door opens, expecting to see one of my nurses but get a surprise when I see Ana being pushed through by Grey. She's smiling happily when she sees me and I can't help but smile back.

"Hey, how are you," she asks sympathetically.

"Better thanks, hopefully I'll be getting out of here soon," I reply.

"I know that feeling, I could hardly believe it when they finally said I could go home."

I smile not sure how to respond, it's hard knowing Ana has already been through all this.

"So, what have I missed?"

"Not too much, Teddy's still a handful and Phoebe cut some new teeth. We've all really missed you, I'm just so glad you came back."

"Me too," I reply, touched by Ana's announcement.

We settle into conversation after a short pause and I remember just how easy it is to talk with Ana. She makes me feel so comfortable in her presence and soon we're all laughing at her stories of Teddy's antics.

I've never had a sister but I feel something akin to that with Ana, I feel protective and strangely bonded to her. I laugh out loud at something Grey says about their son and soon we're all in fits of laughter.

"How are you?" I finally ask once the laughter has died down.

"Better thanks, I still have my bad days but I'm getting there," says Ana thoughtfully.

"I'm glad, Jason caught me up some but I was worried when I didn't see you."

"You can blame my husband for that, he's been rather overprotective since the accident."

"Don't worry, I don't blame you. I'd feel the same if someone I loved was so badly hurt," I tell Christian.

He nods his head then gently strokes Ana's hand. I know Grey and understand just how protective his is of Ana, I'm only surprised that he lets her leave the house after what happened.

We talk a little longer but I'm getting tired and I can tell Ana is also flagging so I try to give them an excuse to leave. Yawning, I manage to give them the hint and after several goodbyes and promises to return they decide to leave.

I feel suddenly saddened as I watch Grey push Ana outside in her wheelchair. Her head is bowed and I can tell she's letting go of the act she established for my benefit.

I understand from Jason that she's undergoing dialysis and is also struggling to overcome a spinal injury.

In many ways she's suffered much worse than me, even though I'm still in the hospital. I have gained a lot of mobility and have even taken a few tenuous steps with help but from what I can see Ana's still a long way away from that.

Ana's POV

It was amazing to finally see Luke awake and watch him laugh at our stories. I've been so worried about my friend and now I just can't wait to get him home with us.

I'm pretty tired as Christian drives us back to the house so I close my eyes briefly and the next think I know I'm being shaken awake.

"We're home," Christian's saying softly.

I wake with a start and look around, amazed when I see the house and Taylor standing by the car with my chair. Christian helps me to it and I sit down heavily, God I'm exhausted.

Pushing me along the drive I hear Teddy's little voice shouting out as we near the door. Once inside the house our sons voice gains in volume as he shouts at Gail.

"NO," I hear him snap over and over and inwardly I sigh.

On entering the family room I see him prostrate on the carpet kicking his little legs and trying his best to squeeze out some tears.

Gail is holding Phoebe in her arms and trying her best to keep her cool with our son.

"What's going on," asks Christian with irritation.

"I'm sorry Mr Grey but I was just trying to get Teddy to pick up some of his toys," explains Gail.

"Son, do as your told and pick up your toys," snaps Christian.

"NO," Teddy sobs finally tapping into his tear supply.

"YES," my husband shouts back.

I watch them engage in a verbal volley and sigh again when I realise they've reached a stalemate.

"Ted please tidy up your toys or you will go to the naughty spot," I explain.

"NO," he repeats so Christian drags him to the corner to sit on the spot of carpet we've designated the naughty spot.

Not happy with his treatment he calls out and tries to run from the spot but Christian is firm and continues to put him back until he finally sits still.

After three minutes I watch Christian go through the routine of asking for an apology and reiterating why he was put where he was. Teddy listens and offers a half hearted apology then runs back to his toys.

"Teddy now put your toys away like Gail asked we can play with something together," I say.

"No, play," says my son picking up one of his cars and pushing it along the carpet.

I can't believe how wilful he's gotten lately, sure it was cute at first but it's getting old fast.

"NO NOW," shouts Christian effectively drowning me out.

Teddy looks at Christian then defiantly pushes his toy car a little further. I then watch him turn his back on Christian and continue to play.

Christian's seething and before I can stop him he snatches the car from Ted and throws it across the room.

"TIDY UP NOW," he screams making Ted cower.

Poor Ted looks to me then Christian then over at his mistreated vehicle, he sobs then breaks down. His little face is so heart broken I push myself towards him and with effort drop down next to him on the floor.

I know I shouldn't but I can't help but pull him into my arms and hold him as he sobs. He's so loud he scares Phoebe and soon there both in tears.

"Ana stop, you shouldn't be doing that," says Christian.

"Doing what, comforting my son?"

"Pulling yourself from the chair, you could of hurt yourself."

"I can't stand seeing him cry," I reply softly.

"WELL I CAN'T STAND SEEING YOU HURT," he snaps then suddenly walks away.

Staring at his retreating figure I can't understand what's got him so upset. I know he worries about me but I'm more concerned about Teddy right now.

Eventually I calm my son and together we pack away his toys, he's still clinging to me and a part of me is enjoying it. We've been apart far too much lately and it's nice to know how much he needs me.

I play some games with Teddy and Phoebe and then we try building with Teddy's Duplo. I make a tower and Phoebe giggles as Teddy knocks it down, then Ted makes the tower for Phoebe to knock it down. We play at it for awhile until Christian suddenly appears and announces that I need to rest.

"No Daddy," says Teddy and I fear we're headed for another tantrum.

Christian bends down and places Teddy on his knee, he strokes his curls then softy explains to our son.

"Daddy's sorry for being cross and throwing your car but buddy Mommy's tired and needs to rest. I promise you can play with Mommy again later and I promise to play with you while Mommy's asleep."

Teddy considers for a moment then pulls himself up from Christian's lap. He walks up to me and stares at my face then amazingly nods his little head.

I kiss him and Phoebe then leave them with Gail as Christian picks we up and takes me to our bedroom. Gently he places me on the bed then helps me to undress and change into something more comfortable.

"Rest," he says kissing my cheek.

I smile then sink down in the sheets, I'm lucky my husband is so attentive.

"I'm sorry I was short with Ted," he says softly.

"He's getting to be quite the handful and I don't think I helped when I comforted him. I know he was being naughty but he was just so upset that I had to step in."

"I'm glad you did, God knows what I'd do if you hadn't."

"You would have worked it out, just remember next time that your the adult."

"I will, now rest and I'll keep those two busy."

"I love you," I murmur sleepily.

"I love you too," I just make out before I nod off.

 **Sorry for the delay in writing but I'm trying for once a week updates from now on. Also to those who keep saying how depressing my story is I'm not sure what you expect. Ana and Christian have a lot to cope with and are dealing with various stresses. I'm sorry that this is not a happy lets have sex story but there's certainly a lot of those out there so maybe you should read those instead.**

 **Thank you for the support and all the positive reviews and I hope you will continue to enjoy my story.**


	24. Chapter 24

Standing Still - Twenty-four

Finally a happy day after all the shit we've been through these past four months, today is Phoebe's first birthday and the whole family is coming round to help us celebrate.

I wake early and full of excitement I immediately start prepping for the party. I'm half way through filling the fiftieth balloon with helium when Gail appears at the doorway her arms laden with decorations.

"Where do you want these," she asks enthusiastically.

"I think the family room and kitchen first and then the garden," I explain.

"I'll get Jason and Ryan to hang them in the garden and I'll start on the house."

"Thank you," I call to her retreating figure. It's funny thinking back to before Ana when a thank you from me was so rare, I hand them out like candy now. All Ana's influence I'm sure she certainly made me a much better person than I was.

By 7.00am Teddy is up and chasing the balloons that have yet to make it to their positions. It's funny watching him so happy as the balloons keep slipping from his grasp.

I've ordered a moon bounce for the day but as only Teddy and Ava are the only children eligible to bounce they're going to pretty much have it all to themselves.

At 8.00am the birthday girl wakes up and starts fussing so I rush to her bedroom to liberate her from her crib.

"Hey birthday girl," I say as I spot her standing up in her crib.

She shoots her head in my direction and with perfect clarity calls out for me. I love it when she calls me Dada and it still amazes me just how many new words she's picked up in the last few weeks.

Her vocabulary is a lot larger than Ted's was at her age but they always say girls mature faster than boys. She can name me and Ana and several other family members and calls Teddy, Deddy but I guess it's close enough. Gail is Gigi and baba means bottle but apart from that most of her words are perfectly clear.

Reaching down I scoop her up and instantly she start babbling away, she's such a happy baby. I stroke her soft brown curls and she reaches her hand to my face.

"Hello sweetheart, who's my big girl today turning one," I coo.

"Mmmm Dada," she's replies, like she understands everything I'm saying.

When we reach the bottom step I hear Gail and Taylor cheering and waving at Phoebe and instantly she gets shy and hides her face in my neck. Just like Ana my baby girl doesn't like a fuss and certainly does not appreciate too much noise on a morning.

"Happy birthday baby," says Gail happily and eventually Phoebe warms up and reaches out for Gail.

Reluctantly I hand her over then look around for my crazy three year old. I spot him sitting in his chair at the table and eating his way through a large stack of pancakes.

There's syrup on over his face but he certainly doesn't seem to care as he munches up his breakfast.

After we eat I help clear away the dishes as Gail tries to clean the syrup from Teddy's face. It's everywhere and he's even managed to smear it on his hair so I pick him up and carry him to the bathroom.

"Me walk," he points out as I climb the stairs.

"Not yet buddy, your all sticky and I don't want you touching anything."

"Sticky?" he questions.

"Yes sticky, very sticky."

In the end I decide to put my son in the shower to fully clean him off, it's unbelievable how messy he can get after just a few pancakes.

After the shower I dress him in clean clothes then take him back downstairs to play before everyone arrives. He's excited when he see's the moon bounce being blown up and immediately wants to play on it.

"Not yet buddy, it's not ready. How about we play with your trains and wait until Ava comes over."

"Ava coming," he asks.

"Yes for Phoebe's party remember."

"Party, cake?" he questions.

"Yes cake but not yet."

He smiles then runs to the playroom and I follow behind until I spot Ana slowly shifting towards me, holding onto Holly.

"How long have you been up," I ask quickly walking to her.

"Not long, you were busy with Teddy, Gail told me about the pancake disaster."

"Disaster is putting it mildly, your son was a sticky mess."

"My son?" she questions.

"Of course didn't you know, when he's bad he's your son and when he's good he's mine," I joke.

"Well I'll certainly have ownership most often, how's my birthday girl?"

"Happy, she was still eating her breakfast when I left with Teddy. I guess she's in the playroom, shall we," I ask taking her arm from Holly.

Slowly I help Ana to the playroom and marvel at the progress she's made in the last two months. It's taken a lot of effort on her part to get to where she today and I'm so proud of her.

With help she can walk to most of the rooms on the ground floor but it takes her awhile to do so. If we go out we still have to take the wheelchair but she manages well inside our home without it.

Stairs are still out of the question but with the elevator it's not much of a problem. Her arms are almost as strong as before the accident and in time I'm sure her legs will catch up.

"Hey baby girl," coos Ana as we enter the playroom.

Phoebe turns from where she's sitting and gives Ana her biggest smile of the day so far. She scoots onto her hands and knees and is soon crawling at full speed to her mother.

Helping Ana to sit down she laughs at Phoebe attempts to climb onto her. With effort she's pulls herself onto her feet and hangs onto Ana's shoulder.

"Mama," she shouts.

"Birthday girl," coos Ana.

I sit down too and soon Teddy is scrambling onto my knee, a bright red train in his hands.

"Hey buddy, look who I found," I say.

"Mommy," he says smiling.

"Hey baby," says Ana reaching over to kiss him while still keeping hold of our daughter.

"Not baby, big boy," say Teddy scornfully.

"Of course sorry, morning Teddy my big boy," Ana corrects.

He smiles then goes back to his trains as Ana hold Phoebes hands and watches her take some steps. I think our daughters language ability has come at the cost of he walking as so far she's not taken a step without our help. Like Ana she tries very hard but crawling is still her go to way of getting around.

I was worried at first especially since Teddy took his first steps so early but my Mom pointed out that all babies get there eventually and no children are still crawling on their first day of school.

As we're playing with the children our first guests arrive and join us in the playroom. It's my brother and Kate with little Ava, who instantly joins Teddy in playing with his trains. I'm sure she'll be bossing my son in no time so much like her mother, still in spite of out differences these last months have really brought me and Kate closer.

Both Elliot and Kate have helped us out a lot and Kate especially has always been willing to look after the children at a moments notice.

We chat together for a while and watch the children play until my parents arrive with Mia and Ethan in tow. A little later Ray arrives and finally the party gets started.

Ryan and Taylor help out as Sawyer helps the children climb into the moon bounce. Phoebe ever the daredevil wants to join in so I hold her hand as she bounces, making sure the older kids don't fall on her.

She loves it and starts laughing and in turn has Sawyer and I equally amused. Laughing at her antics we both can't seem to stop smiling, it feels so good after everything that came before.

In spite of his longer hospital stay Sawyer is almost back to his old self and is now perfectly mobile. Of course he didn't have to deal with the spinal damage that Ana did but he too has worked hard to get to where he is.

After lunch we play games then watch as Gail walks along the garden path holding Phoebe's birthday cake. One candle lights the way as we all sing happy birthday to our precious little girl.

At first Phoebe hides her face in Ana's neck at all the noise but after some encouragement she pokes her little face out and eventually smiles at us all. I blow out the candle as Phoebe's not able and then Gail starts to cut it up to give us all a slice.

Of course Teddy dives in and I'm sure another shower in on the cards for him tonight but Phoebe just stares at her slice.

"Look baby, it's nice," says Ana passing some frosting to her on her finger.

Phoebe looks at the pink frosting then tentatively licks at Ana's offered finger. Thoughtfully she thinks for a moment like she's contemplating something then just like Teddy dives on her cake.

"Mmmmm," she repeats and the cake disappears in her mouth.

"See it's good isn't it sweetheart," says Ana.

"Good," says our daughter with perfect clarity making us all laugh.

"Very good," I reply thoughtfully as I think how nice it is to hear our laughter.


	25. Chapter 25

Standing Still - Twenty-five

I received a call today from the wife of a police officer, it's seems her husband and my wife once crossed paths. She was upset so I listened and soon I too was close to tears.

EARLIER THAT DAY

"Hello, I'm sorry to bother you but I was told that your wife was a victim of the freeway accident," she asked hesitantly.

"Are you a journalist?" I asked sternly.

"No, please I'm just trying to find a person and I believe that person is your wife."

"My wife?"

"Yes, was she hurt?"

"Look I don't know who you are but I'm a busy man and I don't have times for games."

"Please, I'm sure it's your wife, she asked for you by name. You are Christian right,"

I pause at her statement uncertain what to say or how to proceed.

"She asked for me, I just left her an hour ago. Who are you and where are you calling from," I snapped.

"I'm sorry my name is Allison, Allison Fletcher and I'm calling from my home in Seattle."

"How do you know my wife?"

"I don't, but I think my husband does. My husbands Jim, he's a police officer."

"I don't understand," I reply, quickly losing patience with this woman.

"My husband was at the crash site, he was on duty. He helped a young woman and I think the person he helped was your wife."

"Okay."

"Look I'm sorry I shouldn't have called you but I needed to get some closure for Jim. He's been having a hard time since the crash and he's convinced himself that the women he saved passed away. I did some research and based on what Jim told me I did the math and put the pieces together. I saw your face in the paper and read that your wife was hurt. Christian Grey, my husband said she asked for you."

"She did," I mutter shakily.

"Well she asked for a Christian and you were the only Christian I could find with a link to the accident."

"Are you looking for money, I'm sure by now you know who I am."

"Mr Grey you misunderstand me, I'm only looking for closure. Certainly I recognised you when I saw the article in the paper but it was a short piece and made little of your wife's condition."

"I'm a private man Mrs Fletcher and I keep my personal life out of the media as much as I can."

"I understand but if you could just tell me if Mrs Grey's okay. It would really put Jims mind at ease and he's been so worried about her."

"My wife's getting better and that's as much as I want to say on the subject. Look I'm sorry but how am I to know if you're really who you say you are. You say you're not a journalist but I've been burned before by the media, I know how underhand they can be."

"They were driving in a black SUV, it flipped over and my husband climbed inside to help your wife. She stopped breathing and he brought her back with CPR, she called your name for the first time then. Fire-fighters helped Jim carry her from the vehicle and they bundled her into the back of an ambulance. She stopped breathing again and Jim told me how much he feared she would not come back that second time.

Jim held her hand and stroked her hair and he told me it was then that she called for her children."

"Stop," I whisper brokenly.

"Teddy and Phoebe, Jim thinks about them everyday and prays each night that they still have their mother. He said she was young and that he thought her too young to be a mother yet. He cried when he told me what she said next."

"What did she say?" I ask softly.

"She said your name and asked Jim to look after your children. I believe she thought he was you and I believe he brought her comfort in those terrible moments after the crash."

I'm crying softly at her words as I picture Ana calling out for me. I wasn't there for her and it's been a constant ache in my heart that she was alone at that time.

It takes me a while to pull myself together but I'm so grateful that Jim was there for Ana. It helps me to know that someone was there to hold her hand and that someone stayed with her.

"I'm glad your husband was there for my wife," I eventually utter.

"I am too and in turn can you help me now Mr Grey. Jim suffers everyday with not knowing."

"My wife, Ana is slowly mending. It's been difficult and she was badly hurt in the crash, in time I hope she will make a full recovery."

"Oh I am glad to hear that and Jim will be too. He's witnessed a lot over the years with his job but I do believe this has affected him the most."

"I'm extremely grateful to him and you for calling me. I sorry if I was short with you at first and I'm sorry that this has taken a toll on your family. It's taken a toll on so many people and I forgot about all the emergency workers who have also suffered."

"That's true, unsung heroes," she says firmly.

"Unsung indeed."

We talk together for awhile and I warm to her quickly after my initial mistrust. She's so committed to her husband just as I am to Ana. She tells me a bit about herself and talks about her two sons and what they are doing. One is away at college and the other is in high school and I'm grateful to think how young are children are still.

I give her permission to call again anytime and ask if I can call Jim, so I can give him my thanks personally.

After I hang up I'm thoughtful for a moment then move to call Ana. She picks up on the first ring and we chat together as she tells me what's happening at home.

I love to hear her voice and I'm suddenly struck by something, without Jim I wouldn't be hearing it. I owe Mr Fletcher so much and all he wanted was to know that Ana was alright. When I get home I will tell Ana about the phone call with Mrs Fletcher but for now I just want to bask in hearing her happy voice.


	26. Chapter 26

Standing Still - Twenty-six

When I get home from work it's later than I expected and the children are already asleep. I tiptoe into each bedroom and kiss each rosy cheek as I whisper goodnight to my babies. I hate missing saying goodnight to them and today I've hardly seen them but for a few minutes this morning.

After seeing the children I walk to our bedroom and carefully open the door unsure if Ana is asleep yet. She's sitting up in bed reading and looks up as I enter, smiling she pats the bed.

"Hey baby, waiting up for me," I ask.

"You're late tonight, have you eaten?" she asks affectionately.

"Sorry I thought I'd get back sooner but I had to wait for a conference call with Japan. Don't worry Taylor brought me a sandwich."

"Just a sandwich, do you want something more. I could heat up some of the pot roast Gail made us for dinner."

"No you don't, you stay where you are I'll get some in a minute I just wanted to see you first."

"Is something wrong," asks Ana, her expression changing in an instant.

"Nothing's wrong but I really missed you at work today. I'm taking tomorrow off so we can spend the day together, I don't like leaving you here alone."

"I'm hardly alone, I have Gail and Holly's here most days. I have Luke and Carol and the children."

"The children can't help you and everyone else has other duties, I want to be there for you."

"You are," says Ana solemnly.

I reach down and kiss her lips then reach so I can hold onto her hand. Kissing each finger I squeeze her hand tightly between my own as I silently thank Mr Fletcher for saving my wife.

"Christian what's wrong," Ana asks sweeping her other hand thought my hair.

"I missed you," I reply softly.

"It's more than that Christian, you're upset."

I look up and notice a tear fall down my cheek, I dash it away but it's too late Ana's seen it.

"I was just thinking about a call I received today," I explain.

"A call from who, please Christian what is it?"

"A lady called me today asking about you. Her husband is a police officer and he helped rescue you after the accident."

"Was he hurt," asks Ana.

"No, but he's not been himself since what happened. His wife was so worried about him that she called me up to see how you were doing. Her husband convinced himself that you didn't make it she wanted to help put his mind at ease."

"What is his name," Ana ponders.

"Jim, Jim Fletcher," I reply.

"What does he look like?"

"I don't know sweetheart but don't worry I told Mrs Fletcher that you are getting better and I passed on my thanks to her to give to her husband. She's going to call back I'm sure and give me Mr Fletchers number so I can thank him personally for what he did."

"What did he do?" Ana wonders out loud.

"He pulled you from the wreckage Ana, he gave you CPR when you stopped breathing."

"He saved my life," Ana mutters.

"He did."

"I want to thank him too, do you think he would be willing to meet us."

"I don't know, hopefully we'll get in contact with him and then I can ask him. Do you remember him?" I ask.

"I'm not sure it's still pretty hazy but I think I remember a voice asking me to stay awake. Do you think it was Mr Fletcher's voice."

"Probably, his wife said he never left your side. He was with you right up till the helicopter took you away."

"I hope he's alright, it must have been upsetting seeing everything so clearly. I can't remember much so at least I've been spared from that nightmare."

"I'm glad you don't, you've had enough to deal with baby."

"Do you know anything about him, does he have children?"

"Two boys, ones at college and the others in high school."

"Wow high school, it makes me glad that ours are still babies."

"Me too."

Ana's thoughtful for a moment then looks up with tears in her eyes.

"Ana what is it?"

"I just feel bad for Jim and his family, I've put them through so much."

"You have put them through nothing, it's not your fault what happened. Mr Fletcher made the decision to be a policeman, he wanted to help people he wanted to help you."

"I hope he calls back soon, I want to thank him so much. He gave me back my life and everyday I've had since then is because of him."

"I hope he calls back Ana, I feel like I owe him my life too."

Ana's POV

I can't sleep and it's past midnight I can hear Christian's even breathing but I can't seem to join him. Ever since he told me about Mr Fletcher I can't stop thinking about him. He saved my life and for months he's believed that I had passed away from my injuries.

I close my eyes and try to picture his face but all I can see is Christian's face in Jim's place. His voice is different though I can plainly hear it and it's force as Jim tried to keep me awake.

Thinking more about that horrible day I remember someone holding onto my hand and recall just how much that gesture helped me to hold on. Was it Jim that held my hand was it Jim he begged me to stay conscious.

Giving up on sleep I sit up then carefully get out of the bed. Wrapping the covers back over my sleeping husband I walk over to the door and step out into the hallway.

It's so dark that I can only make out Teddy's night light twinkling through his slightly ajar bedroom door. I walk towards it and slowly pull the door open.

Teddy's fast asleep in his big boy bed his face partially covered by his brown teddy bear. I stare at his little face and marvel at how angelic my mischievous boy looks when he sleeps.

I might never seen his sweet face again or bounced my baby girl on my lap if not for Jim. I'll be grateful to him for as long as I live and I'm so lucky that he crossed by path that day.

Lightly I kiss Teddy's cheek then leave him to dreamland as I go to seek out my baby girl. When I find her she's pulled her blanket down so I lift it back up and wrap it around her shoulders.

Even more angelic than her brother her baby face is lit by the moonlight filtering in through her window shade. I kiss her too then stroke my hand over her soft baby curls.

Turning I look over at the door when I hear a noise and see Christian standing in the doorway.

"Ana, come back to bed," he whispers.

Nodding my head I take one last look at my sleeping baby then let Christian take my hand and lead me back to our bedroom.

I lay back in the cool covers and Christian pulls me over to his open arms. I lean into his embrace and he strokes his hand up my back soothing me. At some point I drift off and soon I find myself dreaming of the voice calling out to me.

It's both strange and familiar and oddly comforting so I don't wake. I stay and listen and hope to get a glimpse of the face that matches the voice.


	27. Chapter 27

Standing Still - Twenty-seven

Carol has just attached me to my dialysis machine so I guess I'm staying in bed for the next four hours. I feel tired after being up most of the night thinking about Jim so I think about taking a nap.

I'm just drifting off when I feel Christian lightly kiss my cheek, I look up and he smiles as he bounces Phoebe in his arms.

"Sorry were you going to sleep," he asks.

"Drifting," I mumble.

"Well you sleep baby I just wanted to tell you that I'm taking the children outside to play in the garden. It's warm and your son wants to play on his trike, actually he insisted."

"Take photos," I ask softly hating the though of missing something.

"I will, rest and I'll come check on you when we return," he replies.

I smile and kiss Phoebe's offered hand then wave goodbye as they slip from our bedroom. Closing by eyes I'm soon asleep only vaguely aware of the laughter coming from the garden.

When I wake it's noticeably darker outside and I can hear Gail downstairs in the kitchen most likely preparing dinner. I turn around in bed and instantly smile at the presence of my husband nestled beside me.

"What time is it?"

"Almost six, you've been asleep for so long I was starting to worry."

"I didn't sleep much last night, too many things on my mind."

"You should have woken me up, we could of had insomnia together."

"I don't think it works like that but thank you. Ever since you told me about Jim I can't seem to get him out of my mind."

"Me neither, I hope he calls back soon or his wife does. Are you hungry, Gail's making one of your favourites."

"I can't wait," I tell Christian as a pain causes me to rub my right leg.

I squirm on the bed then try to stand up but I'm still attached to the dialysis machine.

"Cramp, hold on," says Christian as he pulls my leg into his lap and massages it. I lean back on my pillows and squeeze my eyes up tight at the pain increases.

Cramps are a side effect of the dialysis and one I could certainly live without. Add to that the fatigue and occasional itching and I realise just what a blessing normal kidney function used to be.

"Is it any better," asks Christian still rubbing by calf muscles.

"A bit," I gasp as the pain slowly eases.

After a while the pain goes but leaves behind that ache you always get after a leg cramp. I'm sure it will hurt more tomorrow, it always does but at least the severe pain has gone.

Carol returns and disconnects me from the machine and then my husband carries me downstairs to dinner. We eat almost in silence as we tuck into Gail delicious roast and I wonder why my husband is so quiet.

"Are you okay," I ask once he's finished.

"Fine, how's your leg."

"It's good, thanks for helping me earlier."

He smiles then pushes up from the table, walking towards me and kissing my cheek. I understand now why he's been so silent, he's just worried about me.

I get up too and help him carry the dishes to the kitchen, then turn as I hear our phone start to ring.

"I'll get it," says Christian making his way to the study.

I speculate on who could be calling but just put it down to business, Christian's I assume when he doesn't return.

Thankfully Gail is here to help me get the children ready for bed and together we manage the task in less than an hour.

Christian's POV

I hate seeing Ana in so much pain so I hurry to massage the ache from her leg. Her face is twisted and her fingers tighten around the bed sheets. I don't like the noises and whimpers that escape from her lips and her stiffness as she leans against me.

Eventually her eyes open and she smiles almost embarrassedly at me as I stroke her leg in my lap.

I'm quiet during dinner and I know she's on to me as she keeps shooting concerned glances my way. I can't help it I worry about her especially after seeing her in so much pain just minutes before.

I feel so annoyed when the phone rings, I know it's probably business and I know it may take a while. I wanted to help Ana with the children and I was looking forward to story time.

"Grey," I snap as I pick up the phone.

"Hello, is that Mr Christian Grey," the caller queries.

"It is," I reply sighing.

"Oh, well I believe you talked with my wife Allison. I just wanted to call to thank you for updating us on your wife's condition. I was so happy when Ally told me your wife was well, the relief was enormous. I've been so worried about her, I feared she didn't make it."

"I assure you it is I that should be thanking you. Mr Fletcher what you did, your bravery in getting inside that vehicle. Thank you, thank you so much, thank you for bringing her back to me."

I choke up on the last few words and look around my study, trying to stop myself from getting upset.

"Mr Grey please I was just doing my job, I'm only grateful that your wife is okay."

"Thanks to you, I owe you so much Mr Fletcher."

"Jim, it's Jim and you owe me nothing. You just look after your wife and those babies and live the best life that you can."

"I will thanks to you Jim. Ana my wife wants to thank you too, so much. Would you be willing to meet up sometime, whatever's convenient to you of course."

"I'd love to see her again, to see her face if only to see it happy this time."

"Great, you must come to the house and bring your wife, we'd love to meet her too."

"I'd like that, let me get back to you with a date. Got to check with Ally first of course."

"I understand, got a wife myself thanks to you."

He pauses at my statement then ploughs on as if I'd said nothing.

"Please give my regards to your wife and tell her I can't wait to see her again."

"I will Jim, thank you for calling and thank you," I reply my voice wavering on the final thank you.

Hanging up I pause to stare outside at the darkness, then rush off to find Ana and tell her the good news.

 **Longer chapter to follow, thank you for commenting and reading along.**


	28. Chapter 28

Standing Still - Twenty-eight

Driving towards the large iron gates of the Grey's home I'm suddenly struck by their wealth and instantly I feel out of place. Our small family car soon swallowed up in the grounds of the estate as I manoeuvre up the extensive driveway.

We're buzzed through the gates without much inquiry then Allison and I proceed to gawk at the aches of land and long sweeping lawns.

"How the other half lives," says Ally rather taken aback.

"It looks like a luxury hotel not a family home," I remark uncomfortably.

As we draw closer to the house a man steps towards us and shows us where to park. He has the look of a bodyguard but in spite of his imposing stature he's friendly and instantly puts me at ease.

He politely opens Allison's car door and walks us up to the house while making inquiries about our journey.

Opening the front door he shows us inside and instantly we're greeted by the Grey's. I'd know Mrs Grey anywhere her face has been etched on my mind for months now. It's been a constant presence, taunting me and preventing me from forgetting that horrible day. I'm thrilled to see her looking so well and can only hope that this new face helps to blur the one I saw that day.

"Mr Fletcher, it's a pleasure to meet you. I know we've met before but your face is still rather hazy I'm afraid."

"Very understandable," I reply.

Mrs Grey walks closer than suddenly opens out her arms to me.

"Thank you for saving my life," she says solemnly.

"Do you think your wife would mind if I gave you a hug," she continues.

"Not at all," both Allison and I echo.

She's quick to pull me into her embrace then follows by holding my hand briefly and affectionately patting my arm. I feel strangely shy in her presence as I chastely kiss her cheek.

"Thank you," she repeats softly. I nod my head then slowly look up at my wife and Mr Grey, he's smiling and Ally's wiping away a tear.

"I'll second that Mr Fletcher, thank you so much for giving me back my wife."

Shaking his hand he pats my shoulder enthusiastically then reaches out for Mrs Grey who returns to his embrace.

Once the somewhat awkward greeting is out of the way Mr Grey takes us further into the house. We end up in a cosy and very sunny family room where both Ally and myself finally get to sit down.

Drinks offered and accepted we're soon discussing our interests and quickly I start to feel more comfortable. Once the formality of introductions are over we're soon on a first name basis and I'm glad to be rid of Mr Fletcher status.

Chatting for over an hour I'm distracted by a sudden peel of laughter. I look up and see a rosy cheeked little lad running towards Ana.

"Mommy look," he says pointing to a shiny sticker on his shirt.

"Wow did Gail give you that for being a good boy."

He nods proudly then jumps back a little when he notices our presence. He pulls up and sits on Ana's lap then causally surveys us from his safe place.

"Teddy this is Jim and his wife Allison, they have come to visit with Daddy and me. Can you say hello," asks Ana.

"Hello," he says softly.

"Hello," both Allison and I reply.

We both smile as Ally asks about his sticker. He smiles back but shyly hides his face against his mother.

"I promise our boy is a lot of things but shy isn't one of them. He's never this quiet, it's almost eerie," remarks Christian smiling at Teddy.

"Mr Grey I'm sorry, he got away from me," says a kind faced woman who suddenly appears at the doorway.

"Not a problem, Teddy was just showing us his sticker."

"Lets hope he gets to keep it," Christian jokes.

"My sticker," remarks Teddy holding his hand over his chest.

"Yes, your sticker sweetheart," coos Ana.

I watch smiling at the interaction between mother and son then notice a new addition as a baby toddles over. She doesn't look very old and is reaching for the woman to help keep her balance.

"Sorry for the invasion, but seeing as how they are both here it seems another introduction is in order. This is Phoebe and she just celebrated her first birthday," says Christian proudly as he picks up the baby.

Both Ally and I stand up to greet the baby in Christians arms, she's beautiful.

"Hey sweetheart," coos Ally.

Phoebe smiles back at my wife then looks at me with her fathers steely grey eyes.

"Hello," I enthuse.

She smiles at me too then looks towards Ana, who's still seated. Struggling from her fathers arms Christian sets her back down on the rug and she crawls over to her mother.

"Hey baby girl," says Ana reaching her hand towards Phoebe.

Phoebe makes a grasp for it then pulls her self upright and with cautious steps walks towards Ana.

I love it when they're at this age and think back to when are own sons were babies. I enjoyed every minute of it and almost can't wait to be a grandparent just so I can enjoy this stage again.

"You're making me jealous," I add as I watch the interactions.

"How so," asks Christian swinging Teddy onto his knee.

"Mine are practically all grown up and you are both at the beginning. Enjoy it, sadly it's over before you know it."

"We intend too, thanks to you," replies Christian sincerely.

I smile not sure how to respond then Ally breaks the tension as she asks to hold the baby. Ana passes her over instantly and soon my wife is happily rocking baby Phoebe on her hip.

Christian's POV

I can tell that they're nervous as they enter our home so instantly I try to make them feel more relaxed. After both Ana and I have personally thanked Jim for his actions that fateful day we move into the family room.

As we get more comfortable our conversation eases and before I know it I feel like I've known Jim and Allison for years. Though older they live a family life much like our own and we find much in common as we move on in our discussions.

I think the children's arrival helped our guests the most to feel more at home and soon we were all laughing at Teddy's antics.

Once the children left for their naps I wanted to ask Jim how we could help support the emergency services. Both Ana and I had talked before and Ana especially wanted to contribute in someway.

I felt with Ana's poor health that financial support would be the best option but I wanted to ask Jim how best to go about helping.

"Jim, Ana and I have been talking and we both want to support the emergency services in someway. After the wonderful people who helped my wife that day, we both wanted to help give back," I explain.

"Christian you don't have to do anything, it's our job to help people and it's certainly a very rewarding occupation."

"Rewarding yes but I'm sure it's also incredibly difficult at times. Please we want to help, how can we help," I question.

"Well, I'm not sure really but the air ambulance could defiantly do with additional funds. They're always fundraising and it's certainly expensive to keep the helicopter in the air."

"Great that's a start and we would be thrilled to help them. Who knows where I'd be now if not for their swift action in getting Ana to the hospital."

"They would really appreciate the help I'm sure," says Allison excitedly.

"What else," I ask just as enthusiastically.

"I don't know Christian," Jim ponders.

"Support," says Allison, jumping in.

"Yes support, but where," I ask.

"Support for paramedics, volunteers, fire fighters and the police," she replies looking at her husband.

"You mean with counselling," I reply.

"Yes, God knows where a lot of families would be without it."

"Ally I don't think..." says Jim but is instantly interrupted by his wife.

"It's important Jim and you know it. I might not have helped you but it helped me and the boys. You've been so distant sweetheart, it helps to talk to someone who's not directly involved."

"It does," says Ana softly and I look up to see her pale face.

Jim looks up at Ana too and soon she's telling our guests how counselling has helped her to come to terms with the accident and her subsequent health issues.

I go to sit a little closer to her and hold her hand as she tells us how grateful she is to have such wonderful support.

"Not everyone is as fortunate as our family, but counselling should be available for anyone who needs it," explains my amazing wife.

"You're right but I didn't give it much thought until now. It didn't really help me at least not as much as seeing you right now has."

"So maybe we could fund a support system to enable counselling where needed," I announce.

"I think that would be wonderful and it will help a lot of people come to terms with an upsetting event."

"Well that's where we can and will help and if anything else comes to mind please don't hesitate to call me," I ask.

"We will," replies Allison still smiling.

I smile back and can't wait to start something in motion and really give back to the people who gave me back my wife. I only wish that Matthew Reynolds could have lived to benefit from their help and support.


	29. Chapter 29

Standing Still - Twenty-nine

Time has flown by since the Fletcher's visit and I've been working hard to fulfil our commitment to the various organisations we want to support. Already we've set in place a fund to help the air ambulance keep running and with our support there will soon be another helicopter in service.

I've spoken with the Reynolds family and together we want to reach out and help the emergency services with aftercare therapy. I know they set up their own charity in Matthew's name and had a similar goal of helping people after a life changing event.

They were very interested with our plans so we decided to unite our efforts and soon we hope to open the Matthew Reynolds memorial wing at the University of Washington Medical Center. A wing dedicated to support victims of psychological trauma and help their families.

It's amazing how quickly everything's progressing and not just with our charity work. Ana is also improving everyday and she surprised us all when she finally managed to conquer the stairs. She almost gave me a heart attack when I saw her climb on shaky legs up the staircase. Painstaking slow but full of determination she finally reached her goal and the whole household erupted with applause.

I'm so proud of my wife and what she has managed to achieve in the past months. I think Teddy is too as he was jumping up and down and cheering so loudly at her accomplishment. Little Phoebe was less impressed but it was late in the day and I just think she was too tired to truly enjoy the moment.

With all the excitement lately it's often forgotten that there is anything even wrong with Ana but sadly there is. She's still undergoing dialysis and so far her kidney function is still too poor for her to stop. Ana's often exhausted and her core strength is still nonexistent. Even with the addition work I've been doing I'm still very aware that Ana is far from recovered. I only hope that she will get better soon and be the same Ana she was before the accident.

Gail's POV

Mr Grey has spent a lot of time in his study of late, working hard on his charity work. The children seem more settled and Teddy's tantrums have certainly lessened. In fact I can't remember the last time he had one. I think having Ana home has helped the most in restoring Ted's good humour and I'm glad that he's so happy again.

I wish I could say the same for me but lately I've been really feeling down. The children still need a lot of my time and with Ana still recovering I feel so overwhelmed at times.

I don't like feeling this way and God knows I don't want to be anywhere else right now. I worry if I'm away for a few hours and I'm constantly afraid that something bad is going to happen to Ana or the children.

These past months have brought me a lot closer to Ana and she's family as much as Jason and Sophie are. It's possible that I've gotten too close but when someone needs you like Ana does I don't see how you can turn your back on them.

The rollercoaster of emotions has taken it's toll on everyone and even I am being affected. I'm not immune and things have gotten on top of me I only hope my mood will improve.

Sawyer's POV

Things finally feel like they're falling back into place and now I'm back at work I have my purpose back. Not that Taylor will let me do much but at least I'm living back in my own apartment and not in the Grey household.

I had cabin fever in the beginning, I've always being an active person and it was difficult not being able to move around freely. Thankfully that stage in my recovery didn't last long and I felt so much better once I gained some independence.

It's been a lot harder for Ana, her recovery has taken longer and has cost her much more. The effort she's put in is amazing and it's certainly put a lot of things into perspective for me. It's hard to feel sorry for yourself when you can see someone else a lot worse off and not complaining.

I'm a big guy and I always knew I was physically strong but compared to Ana I've been quite the weakling. She's proved her strength again and again and she's cheered me along more times than I can count.

It takes a special person to behave the way she has and I count myself very lucky to have her as my friend.

Taylor's POV

It's been a busy few weeks with Mr Grey working to open the memorial wing at the hospital. I've helped as much as I can and both Gail and I have contributed to the fund.

I worked with Matt everyday and after his funeral I was only too pleased to be able to help his family. His mother and father have worked so hard to establish Matt's charity and I've visited with them often, these past few weeks.

Every time I see them I can see the pain they're enduring and every night that I leave them I feel compelled to call my daughter. I miss her, she's so busy right now with school that I can hardly wait for the holidays to arrive.

Also I'm a little concerned that Gail has been working too hard of late. She's short with me and her temper is quick to flare up these days. I found her snapping at Ted the other day which is not like her at all. She loves those babies dearly and I know she would do anything and every thing for them.

I find I'm walking on egg shells most days and I'm never sure what mood she'll be in when I see her. But if she's short with me and occasionally Ted she has at least never shown that side to Ana. Her endless patience is only shown to Ana and her loving heart always open for her.

I'd almost feel jealous if not for the fact that Ana deserves to have Gail on her side. But if the day ever comes that my wife snaps at Ana, then God help us all.

Ana's POV

I hate this feeling that I have deep down, a loathing that comes to me from time to time. I don't want it and I wish it would go away but it won't, no matter how hard I try to push in away.

I think I feel it now because I just caught Gail shouting at little Ted. I missed the context but I saw the aftermath and I didn't like it one bit.

I love my son deeply and it hurt to see him so upset, Gail of course stopped his tears and kissed his rosy cheeks. But it's not like her to snap at my boy and it shocked me to see her so riled up.

It's my fault, I know it's my fault and that's where the loathing comes from. I caused her to loose her temper, she's overworked and exhausted and I did that to her.

I hate this and I hate what's it's doing to the people I love. I'm a burden, an encumbrance and I don't want to be one anymore.

After the blow up I take Ted to play and try to keep him occupied so Gail can calm down. We play together for hours but it's hard to keep up with my busy boy.

Laying down in the playroom with Teddy running his toy cars under my legs I'm eventually found by Christian.

"Hey you need to rest baby, where's Gail?" he asks on entering.

"I'm okay, Gail's busy and I'm having fun playing with Ted."

"I think you stopped playing a while ago. Look you're exhausted let me take over," he begs.

Reluctantly I leave them to play and drag my weary body to bed. I felt bad when I woke later so I had to stay in bed for the rest of the day. I brooded a lot and wished I was more use to those around me.

I love Gail, she's a special person and she certainly puts up with a lot from my family. I want to help her but physically I can't and because of that I find myself hating what I've become.


	30. Chapter 30

Standing Still - Thirty

The shit hit the fan so to speak last week and we finally realised that we need to make some changes.

Gail's been working so hard that she finally broke down and told me just how exhausted she is. I should have noticed sooner, especially with all the extra work I keep piling on top of her. It hurt to see just how far I've pushed this amazing woman who's helped me so much over these past months.

Seeing her in tears was such a shock and with Ana sleeping upstairs I wasn't sure what to do. In the end I sat her down and listened to all her concerns. I made some tea and together we talked at length, tea and sympathy Ana would say.

After a while Taylor joined us and we all worked to find a solution to lessen Gail's busy workload. Gail seemed happier once everything was out in the open and even Taylor seemed less tense.

In the end we decided that hiring a nanny would make the most sense. Gail could go back to her original role and the children would enjoy more one on one time.

Although initially upset Ana eventually mellowed to the idea, especially after learning how overwhelmed Gail has been feeling.

Applications were sent and our security worked quickly to vet each applicant. Ana and myself personally interviewed each shortlisted applicant and after some debate we finally settled on an unusual choice.

Ana hated the idea of someone coming in and caring for our children and wanted desperately to care for the children alone. Unfortunately that's just not an option right now and Ana seems to understand that help is needed.

Not wanting her role to be confused she settled on a male applicant and although I was unconvinced at first, seeing Ana's enthusiasm helped me to make my decision.

One week on and Joe has settled in well with our family and the children have really warmed to him. He's picked up their routines quickly and provided the children with some much needed stability.

Gail is back to concentrating solely on the household and seems a lot happier for it. I had offered to send Gail and Taylor away for a short break but at present neither Taylor or I could convince her to leave.

Ana's had a few bad days this week and Gail likes to be here when Ana's not feeling well. She's become Ana's surrogate mother in a lot of ways and worries herself sick if she's away from Ana for too long. Maybe they can take a break in a few weeks time when hopefully Ana will be feeling better.

The hospital opening is scheduled soon and I'm still planning on Ana attending with me. She's so excited about being there and I know both Kate and Mia have been helping her pick out an outfit to wear.

The whole family will be there and even Gail and Taylor will be in attendance. Most of my security are also going to be present and have all contributed to the

memory of their colleague Matthew Reynolds.

Gail's POV

I feel so much lighter now that Joe is here and I'm more than ready to hand over the childcare responsibility to his capable hands. Not that I wont miss my charges, I love those children very much but I didn't love the person I was becoming around them. I was short and crabby with them and they deserve someone with less on their minds to take care of them.

I did get a shock though when Jason told me about the new recruit. I never in a million years would have thought Mr Grey would hire a man to take care of his children. Ana of course was the driving force behind that decision, she warmed to Joe the instant she met him and I can see why. He's a unique individual and quite possibly the most caring soul I have ever met.

He's younger than both Mr Grey and Ana and has only recently graduated from college. But what he lacks in experience he makes up for in sheer enthusiasm and he's really brightened up all our days.

When she's well Ana plays with the children with Joe and they get on famously together. I was worried at first that Mr Grey's jealous streak would interfere in their interactions but he doesn't seem bothered at all. He's more than willing to romp around with Joe, his only desire is in keeping his children happy.

In a lot of ways Joe reminds me of Elliot and he's thrilled to play that Uncle role and often the part of the children's big brother. Joe's sense of humour keeps us all entertained and it's nice to have an outside influence in the home that was absent from all the upset.

 **A short chapter but a chapter none the less. It's taken a while to write but some weird winter bug has kept me from updating sooner.**

 **Hopefully a longer chapter to follow, probably surrounding the hospital opening.**

 **Thank you for all the support and all the great reviews.**


	31. Chapter 31

Standing Still - Thirty-one

Today is the day of the dedication and opening of the Matthew Reynolds memorial wing at Washington University Medical Centre. So many people will be in attendance including the media and various hospital superintendents. Police and ambulance workers as well as many well known physiatrists and doctors will also be present.

I feel strangely nervous as I dress for the special occasion, I've been to so many charity functions but none have touched home so greatly as this one will.

I also think my nerves are due to all the planning it's taken to get to this stage and because Ana will be accompanying me tonight and I don't think she should. For days now she's been so exhausted and even with Joe's help she's barely spent any time with the children.

I try not to worry but when I see her struggling each day it's impossible not to be concerned about her. Ana has a hospital appointment next week so hopefully we can get to the bottom of her exhaustion. Carol her dialysis nurse doesn't seem especially alarmed so I guess I will just have to hold it together until her appointment.

"Hey," says a soft voice causing me to spin around to it's direction.

I can't help the smile the spreads across my face as my eyes fall on my beautiful wife all dressed up and looking so perfect.

"Hey baby, you sure you feel up to this," I ask one more.

She sighs and rolls her eyes in that special way she does that's guaranteed to annoy me.

"Don't be asking me that all day, I feel fine Christian. Better than I have in days, I promise to say if I feel iffy."

"Cross your heart," I ask softly.

She smiles and makes a crossing motion across her chest then stands on her tip toes to reach my lips. Ana's lips are soft as velvet as I hold onto her to keep her in place.

"Are you ready?" she asks once I finally release her.

"Almost I was just going to ask you if my tie was straight."

"Looks good to me, let me just say goodbye to he children and I'll be ready too."

Together we say our goodbyes to the kids, we wanted them to come too but really they are far to young to stay quiet for that long. Joe and Gail are staying behind with them as well as some of the newer security staff brought in after Ana's accident.

Taylor drives us to the hospital at a leisurely pace with Sawyer sitting in the passenger seat beside him. We're all rather silent as we think about our destination and I feel my nerves beginning to grow again.

"You'll be okay, you've done a wonderful thing Christian and everyone will see that," says Ana suddenly.

She's stroking my cheek and squeezing my hand and I can't help but smile at her.

"I couldn't have done much without your help, I doubt I'd have done anything without you."

"You would have, I know you and the Reynolds needed your help."

I stroke Ana's pale cheek as we drive the rest of the way in silence and wonder if things had been different how much I would have helped out. I'm doubtful that without Ana I would have done anything at all. I know I wouldn't be walking around at all, let alone helping with Matthews memorial.

My parents are the first to greet us on our arrival followed by Mr and Mrs Reynolds.

I shake their hands then introduce them to Ana, it being the first time they have met.

Ana offers her condolences then shares a few personal moments of happy times she spent with their son. Mrs Reynolds seems touched by Ana's recollections and I'm momentarily absorbed myself by my wife's affection for Matthew.

Jim and Allison Fletcher are also here and I smile at them as make our way inside. A red ribbon is tied across the entrance and I'm soon ushered towards it and handed some scissors.

I give a short speech then cut the ribbon and in turn we all enter the Matthew Reynolds memorial wing of the hospital. There are a lot of people and soon the drinks are flowing and the chatter begins.

We try to stop and talk with everyone and many show their joy at seeing Ana looking so well. I myself have my doubts especially when she slows and I have to insist she sit down for a while.

"You look a little flushed, are you sure you're okay," I ask and I push her towards a chair.

"I'm fine, it's just a little hot in here. Besides you should be glad I have some colour you're always telling me I'm too pale."

I smile then sit down beside her, I can't fault her and it certainly is rather hot in here. We listen to some more speeches, Mrs Reynolds being the most painful to here. I can't begin to imagine what she and her husband are going through, losing their only child.

When Jim gets up to talk his story has me in tears, I didn't even know it until I felt Ana wiping them from my cheek.

It's still too hard to hear him talk about the accident and even with Ana here beside me I can't seem to cope. I reach out and take her hand and only then do I calm down and manage to find my control.

A few hours later and it's time for us to go when I see Ana struggling to stay awake. She's sat with my Mom and leaning against her shoulder as my Dad chats with Mr Fletcher.

Together we all get up to leave and I make my way over to the Reynolds to say our goodbyes. Seeing Ana they quickly understand and soon we're back in the car and on our way back home.

"You're speech was beautiful Mr Grey," says Ana as she sinks into her seat.

"I'm glad you liked it," I reply.

She smiles then slowly closes her eyes, they don't reopen so I believe she's fallen asleep. The drive back is equally quiet and only Sawyer and Taylor can be heard as they have a discussion up front.

I start to reflect about the event and sum it up in my head. I think it went well and the centre is certainly going to help a lot of people. It makes me smile to think how it will change someone's life for the better and I'm so glad that I was able to help.

The sun has set by the time we reach home and I'm sorry that Ana missed it. It was so beautiful and full of colours.

"Hey sleepyhead we're home," I say softly.

Ana doesn't respond so I gently shake her shoulder. When that doesn't work I shake a little harder.

"Hey baby we're home," I snap louder.

Taylor gets out and walks towards her side of the car and opens the door. He peers inside and I try to move Ana's arm. It's then that I realise just how limp her arm is and quickly panic.

"Taylor," I mutter as I look towards him in terror.

He pulls Ana's limp body towards him and checks for her pulse. I hold my breath unable to look away from her face.

"It's faint sir, Sawyer get the nurse," he shouts out.

I watch helplessly as Sawyer runs towards the house then move closer to Ana and shake her even harder.

"Ana, wake up."

"Please, Ana."

I shake her until Taylor prevents me, then watch as Carol runs up the drive. In slow motion I watch her work over Ana, fresh panic all consuming when she insists we drive back to the hospital.

I can't do this again, not again, please Ana. I think over and over as Taylors speeds through the traffic. Not again baby, not again.

 **Sorry for the long wait and thanks to Leibeezer and** **motherbeatrice for encouraging me to write more. I just got a puppy so things have been a bit hectic but I hope to write more soon. Thanks for reading.**


	32. Chapter 32

Standing Still - Thirty-two

I'm pacing the bloody waiting room again, my mind in overdrive thinking about what went wrong. Ana had seemed okay, well at least better than she has been and I can't believe we're back here again.

I've called my Mom and she's back in the room with Ana. She's not alone but I wish I could be with her. I can't stop my pacing and can sense Taylor's gaze as my shoes squeak on the sterilized floor. I should be with her damn it but even with the fuss I created I'm still exiled from her room.

Finally I look up and see my mother approaching, she looks strangely diminished as she walks towards me.

"How is she?"

"Resting, sit down son," she asks quietly.

"Why, what is it," I snap back.

"Sit," she repeats with more assertion.

I sit down despite myself and watch as my mother sits down beside me. She reaches for my hand but I move it away from her with lightning speed.

"What," I repeat firmly.

"Ana's not doing well son, her doctors think the dialysis is less affective."

I stare at her disbelieving, I understand the words but not the order they're coming out of my mothers mouth.

"Less affective?" I question.

"Yes, Ana's just not tolerating it as well as she has been."

"What does that mean."

"It means," my mother pauses possibly weighing her words.

"It means that dialysis can't help Ana much now, It means she needs a donor."

"A transplant," I ask uncertainly.

"Yes, a kidney transplant."

"What about the function of her other kidney."

"It's not good. It might just give her some time before we can find a donor."

"How long."

"Oh Sweetheart." Here my mother reaches for my hand again and this time I let her.

"Not long, she's pretty sick."

"Does she know," I ask.

My mother nods her head and I bow mine, watching the tears drop onto my knee.

She moves her chair closer and wraps her arms around me and all I can think is, 'Not Ana, please not my Ana.'

Eventually I compose myself and I'm driven towards her room by my mother small hand. Pushing the door ajar I see her laying in the small hospital bed and briefly wonder how many beds she's laid in since all this began.

Slowly I approach and she looks up as I draw nearer. Tear track marks are evident on her face as they are surely on my own as well. I kiss her soft lips then carefully sit down on her bed.

"Are you in any pain," I ask.

She shakes her head and I'm grateful because if she was I don't know what I would have done.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she tells me fondly.

I smile shyly then take her hand closest to me and hold it in both of my own. I kiss it tenderly then hear my mother suddenly race from the room. Knowing my mother is crying makes me feel like a child again and soon tears are once again falling from my cheeks. Ana squeezes my hand and I'm amazed by her courage as she tries to be brave for the both of us. She wipes away my tears with her other hand and smiles so assuredly that I almost believe she will be okay.

 **Sorry it's a short chapter after such a long absence, but it was all I could write. I wanted to give you another chapter and I did. Hopefully a few more will follow but I'm finding it hard to get back into the story. I want to end it and end it well.**

 **Thank you for all the kind reviews and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to continue.**


	33. Chapter 33

Standing Still - Thirty-three

It comes as no surprise to me when the results come back and I'm not a match for Ana. My parents get tested, Ana's dad, my siblings, Kate and Ethan but no one is a good enough match. Ana's friends, our colleagues and staff all get tested but still nothing close comes up.

GHL start a website to encourage donors but I fear it's a big ask for someone to part with a kidney for a stranger. I talk to Ana about buying one, but she's so outraged I decide not to pursue it, for now anyway.

"What about Carla?" I ask a few days later. Ana's mother a blood relative it sure to be a match I think, surprised it's taken me this long to think of her.

"She won't do it," says Ana plaintively.

"She's your mother, you're her daughter of course she will."

"Christian, think about it. My mother come here, she didn't come when I was comatose why would she come now."

"I'll call her and she'll come," I say with certainty.

Ana only shakes her shoulders and lays back down on her bed. I wait until she's asleep then sneak out of her room to call Carla.

There's a nine hour time difference so I quickly work out the time in Italy before I dial. It's ten here so I work out it's seven in the morning where Carla is. It's early but I don't really care too much about waking her up, Ana needs her mother.

It rings and rings and eventually I hear her tired voice ask who's calling at this hour.

"Hello, it's Christian. Christian Grey," I announce.

"Christian do you know what time it is," she asks with irritation.

"Yes it's about time you woke up, drove to your doctors office and get a blood test," I snap back.

"What," she asks with confusion.

"Look Ana, your daughter, your only child is very sick. She needs a kidney transplant and we're all out of options. I'm asking if you'll get tested."

The line goes quiet and I wait impatiently for her voice to return.

"Hello are you still there," I ask after forty-five seconds.

"How sick is she," she finally asks.

I shake my head at her question, Grace would never of asked it she would of been off to get tested before I finished telling her.

"Very sick, look without a donor soon she won't make it," I tell her bluntly.

"Okay I'll get tested, tell her I'm getting tested and that I hope she gets better soon."

"Why don't you tell her yourself, she'd love to hear from you. You never call her anymore and I'm sure she misses you."

"No that's fine I have to go a book an appointment with my doctor. Keep me posted."

The line goes dead and I'm at a loss to explain her behaviour. Some mother she is, it's a wonder Ana became the devoted and loving mother I know she is. I guess some people just shouldn't have kids, I sigh shake my head then slowly return to my wife.

I fail to tell Ana about my phone call not wanting to give her false hope, in case Carla's not a match.

Then a week later I'm called into Ana's doctors office and immediately I'm concerned that Ana got worse. He tells me that they have a match and I so amazed I'm speechless for the first time in my life.

I'm even more amazed when I learn that it's Carla that's the match. Ana's mother has finally come through for her daughter and I can't stop myself from smiling.

"There is a problem though," says the doctor abruptly ending my joy.

"What?"

"The potential donor won't undergo the surgery."

"What?" I repeat.

"Yes I've talked to her myself and she's adamant she won't go through with it."

"She bloody well will," I snap back.

The doctor looks a bit taken aback then pushes his phone in my direction and leaves the room. I pull my own from my pocket and dial her number not even bothering to check the time this time.

It rings and rings and I realise it's almost midnight in Italy. She picks up eventually and snaps at me.

"For Gods sake it's midnight what the hells going on."

"It's me again. What the fuck, you wont give her your kidney."

"Christian," she asks puzzled.

"Yes it's me and I'm mad as hell. Get on a plane fly to Seattle and give your daughter what she needs. How fucking difficult is it," I shout back.

"Christian it's late, I don't what to discuss this now."

"Too bad because we will."

"Fine it's a big ask, I doubted I would be a match and I'm not able to do this now."

"Well too bad because you are doing it and if I have to fetch you myself you are giving Ana that kidney."

The line goes dead and I snap, throwing some things from the desk and punching my hand through the paper thin wall. I'm so angry I can barley see straight, how could she do this to Ana.

I stew for a while then an idea hits me and I call her back. Amazingly it's picked up on the second ring and I pose the one question that I know will persuade her.

"How much do you want?"


	34. Chapter 34

Standing Still - Thirty-four

Carla arrived yesterday and there's certainly something going on between her and Christian. They spent a lot of time together in his study when she first arrived and they've both avoided each other like the plague since.

Ana also seems wary of her mother, like she doesn't believe she's here to help her. I've been with her a lot lately and she practically grabs my hand to stop me from leaving her alone with her mother. Small talk is about all I can manage and really the tension that surrounds them has me rather confused.

Last night I was staying at my sons house to help with the children and I overheard Christian shouting at Carla. I couldn't believe my son was being so rude to his mother-in-law and was on my way to give him a piece of my mind, when I heard something that made my blood run cold.

Evidentially she was making demands and begging for Christian not to tell Ana something. Christian snapped back at her so loudly I feared he would wake the children.

"Don't worry I would never tell her, it would break her."

Carla did not reply and I had to dash behind the wall to avoid her as she ran from the room. I heard Christian smash something against the floor then pace wildly in my direction.

"Christian what is it," I asked as he stepped into my path.

"Nothing," he replied curtly.

"Christian something has happened, please tell me," I asked softly.

"I cant," he snapped then tried to walk away.

"Christian Trevelyan Grey don't you walk away from me."

"I can't," he repeated then without warning he suddenly broke down.

I led him back towards his study and shut the door, sidestepping the broken glass I made his sit down.

"What is it Christian."

Then with time and much persuasion he told me what was going on with Carla. I sat dumbfounded for a while unable to understand what he was telling me. It had to be a mistake a misunderstanding, surely not what was being told to me.

"I don't believe it," I finally replied.

"It's hard I know, that fucking bitch is hard to fathom."

I knew then that it was true and even Christian's language failed to shock me after what I had just heard.

I shook my head then pulled Christian's hand into my lap. He looked so lost and it was hard not to run to that woman there and then and slap her face.

"Unfortunately it has to be done, but that women I don't know how I will ever face her again."

"But face her you will or Ana will work out that something's wrong. She can't ever know, never. Please Mom she can never know."

I nodded my head then wrapped my arms around Christian, how could she do this to him, to Ana.

By the next day I made up my mind to have a little chat with Carla and I could barley wait I was so mad. I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout but in the end I did neither.

When I saw her next morning I realised what might happen if I let her have it. She could leave, she could walk out the door and not return and Ana needed that kidney.

I decided there and then to hold my tongue but by God she better watch herself the second that kidney leaves her body.

If it would have done her any good at all I would have given Ana both my kidneys and here her mother needs payment just to part with one. I'm cold with Carla, I can't help myself but I never let it slip that I know. I guess some people really shouldn't have children and Carla is certainly one of them.

As the days follow I find myself practically despising the woman, especially when she is in any way solicitous to Ana's wellbeing. Christian was right, she's a fucking bitch but she's Ana's mother and the only one that can help her.


	35. Chapter 35

Standing Still - Thirty-five

Ana's POV

Christian's been acting strangely around my mother since she arrived and now Grace is giving her the cold shoulder. I thought I knew why but I can't think even my mother would sink so low, is it possible that he's giving her something for her help.

I'm pretty low today and that thought running over and over in my head is not helping, I'm experiencing shortness of breath and with the constant fatigue I'm exhausted.

Christian's been my rock through everything but if he's really about to pay off my mother then I don't know how to feel about that. I don't want him to do it but I certainly understand the desperateness he's feeling. I don't want to die and I don't want to leave my babies and my husband, but can I truly go through with this. Can I live with myself knowing my own mother had to be paid off to save her daughters life. I feel sick thinking about it but what else could have caused their equal hostility, Grace was fine a few days ago but now the atmosphere between them is so cold.

Grace, one of the most loving and supportive people I know, if everything was on the up and up she would be showering Carla with praise. Everything feels tainted now and I don't know how to accept her offer under these possible circumstances.

It's been a day now since my certainty that something's not right and I've decided to have it out with my mother. While Christian's at home with the children I'll have her all to myself and I intend to get to the bottom of this.

I don't have long to wait as sure enough she pokes her head around my door, all smiles and I welcome her inside.

"How are you feeling darling", she asks as she gives me a cursory kiss on the cheek.

I strain to stop myself from wiping it away as I look deeply at her face, still doubting my own belief that she's lying to me.

I decide to have it out with her there and then and ask quite softly what Christian is offering her.

"I don't know what you're talking about", denial I knew it.

"Come on mother, he's offering you something. I know you remember, Carla Wilks doesn't do anything for anyone unless there is something in it for her."

"Ana, how could you say that. You're my daughter, I love you."

"When it suits you", I sob brokenly.

"I'm not listening to this anymore Ana. You're sick you're not thinking clearly, how you could think this I can't fathom but I'm here for you, I want to help you.

I stare at her again and she seems so certain that I almost believe her and I would have too if not for the deep blush seeping over her face. We may not share many things but Carla and I both have a tell and it's not something that's easy to ignore. Christian spotted it in me quite early on and it's been a nightmare over the years for me to slip anything past him, I blush and so does my mother.

A rogue tear rolls down my cheek and I make to wipe it away, "I don't want it", I whisper softly.

"What want", she asks, when I know full well she caught my meaning.

"I can't accept your offer, I should and believe me I don't want to die, but to take something for someone I despise. It would never work, my hatred would poison it.

"Ana think about what you're saying, you'd really decline my offer over some misguided belief. Think about Christian, think about your children, wouldn't you want to fight for them."

"I am fighting for them, I do it everyday, every breath I take I do for them. Even when I'm so wiped out I can barley keep my eyes open to see them."

"Then take it, if you love me or hate a kidney wont change that. If it's going to help you then take it.

Suddenly I sit up and grab her hand that's resting on my bed. I pull it towards my face and hold it there.

"Promise me", I sob brokenly.

"Promise me that you do this out of love. Swear on my life and my families that you're doing this for the right reason and I'll let you. But I swear on everything I have or ever will that if you lie to me now, if you take one penny from Christian, it will break me. I will never speak to you again and your grandchildren will become more the strangers to you than they are now."

I look at her face not blinking, not turning away. I need her to know that her lie will kill me, she needs to believe this. She pauses but doesn't avert her gaze, she smiles and tucks a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.

"I promise Ana, I do, I wouldn't take a cent from your husband or anyone else. I'm here to help you".

"Okay, good. I'll take it and thank you".

 **I'm back.**


	36. Chapter 36

Standing Still - Thirty-six

Christian's POV

I'm visiting with Ana the day before her surgery and I'm worried sick about her especially since she's been so distant this week. Her health seems to deteriorate daily and I'm scared that her body is too fragile to recover from the transplant.

She's exhausted all the time and far too weak to leave her bed and she's on oxygen to help with her shortness of breath. Added to that she's barely eaten for days and she struggles to keep water down. She's being fed through a nasal feeding tube and with the addition of the oxygen cannula I can barley see her face beneath all the wires.

The children were here earlier but they don't understand what's happening to their mother and they struggle when Ana is so tired she can barley string words together.

I watched her sleep for hours once the children left, all the time repeating over and over in my head, "Please be okay, please be okay".

Sometimes I feel that fight or flight extinct take over and I all I want to do is run away from this. Race to my car and drive far from this hell, to see the one person you love more than anything so close to the end is utterly intolerable. But the fight extinct never truly leaves me and I find the strength to keep hoping she'll get better. I stay, I always will and as unimaginable life would be without her I would still keep going for Ana and our children.

"I love you", I whisper in her ear as I see her stirring. She smiles, her eyes still tightly shut and reaches for my cheek. With amazing accuracy she strokes my cheek and with effort opens her eyelids to reveal the bluest gaze, marred with sadness.

"Hey everything's going to go great", I lie.

"Liar", she responds with a smirk.

"I'm hurt Mrs Grey, I would never lie. It's going to go well, it will, it has too".

Her smirk vanishes as the sadness returns to her features, "Please try Christian, you must promise me you'll try to live a happy life, you know, if this doesn't end well".

I exhale and quickly swallow the rising bile in my throat, it's not a promise I ever wanted to make. Being happy without Ana seems an impossible task, I could go on and try to be a good father but I never imagined I could be happy if Ana wasn't here.

"I'll try Ana and that's the best that I can do, put yourself in my place, could you be happy".

Ana's face pales at the thought and I wish I hadn't asked the question. She seems to contemplate it and eventually answers.

"It would be devastating, I see that Christian but I would have to hope I could find some joy in my life. Teddy and Phoebe deserve a mother who could share in their happiness and a sad mother isn't much of a mother at all, I know that".

I reach for her hand and squeeze it tightly, tears are falling down my cheeks and I can't seem to stop them. My wife is wiser than her years and so much braver than I could ever be. I wish I was the one who was sick, the children need Ana so much more than they need me. I can certainly see her going on without me, it wouldn't be easy for her but she would plough on and be mother and father to our children. Can I be everything they need me to be, I can try my very best and surely I can struggle to find that illusive pleasure without her.

"I promise", I tell her softy as she wipes away my traitorous tears.

 **Very short I know but just a little extra for all those people who were glad my story had continued.**

 **More next week and thank you for all the messages of support.**


	37. Chapter 37

Standing Still - Thirty-seven

Elliot's POV

I'm waiting with my brother, not holding his hand exactly but watching him as closely as a brother can when his wife is having major surgery. I've sat with him for almost four hours and getting him to sit still and not shout at everyone who passes is the biggest challenge of my day. Kate's been with us but she keeps calling home to check on the children and that's where she is when Christian suddenly jumps to his feet.

"That's it something's wrong they said it would be between three and four hours,"

"They said approximately, it could take longer. Please try to calm down they'll tell us when it's over."

He sits down then just as quickly shoots up again, he's a nervous wreak and he's starting to wear down my own shaky confidence that everything is alright.

Of course I'd be alone with him when he finally snapped, it's been coming for days but he broke on my watch. Mom's in recovery with Carla after her donation and Dad's outside sitting with Ray after he ran from the waiting room a little over an hour ago. He like Christian now was having a hard time sitting still and something about the hospital was making his skin crawl. My Dad took him outside and I haven't seen them since. Mia and Ethan are looking after the kids and keep calling every half hour to check if Ana is out yet.

"Everything okay," I ask as I see Kate return from her call.

"Everything's fine, how's everything here," she asks casting a concerned glance at Christian who is now pacing back and forth.

"Christian stop you're making me dizzy," I snap jumping up and trying to get him to sit back down. He looks a little livid then pulls at his hair, it's started to grey at the ends and no wonder. The stress he's been under lately it's going to be a tie to see if he ends up bald or completely grey.

I'm just thinking me may need to get someone to shoot him with a tranquiliser dart to prevent the inevitable heart attack when I see one of Ana's doctors approaching.

Christian dashes over and I have to physically restrain him to stop him grabbing the good doctor by collar.

"Is she okay," he asked breathlessly.

Easy now I think as I see him teetering of the edge of sanity. His face is ashen and his hands are visibly shaking.

"Mrs Grey's stable and being moved to recovery as we speak. She hasn't come round yet but as soon as she does she'll be moved to the ICU."

"The ICU, what's wrong, what's happened," my crazy brother inquires.

"Christian remember we talked about this before the surgery, it's just a precaution but if anything changes it's the best place for her to be," he explains.

"Okay, right, the best place," he mutters.

"The very best place and Ana has a whole team of doctors and nurses looking out for her there," I also explain. He seems to calm down a little as I talk to him but his hands are still shaking, he looks a mess if I'm honest.

"Can I see her," he hesitantly asks.

It's strange seeing him like this, I don't think I've ever seen him so timid, he keeps looking at for reassurance and I start thinking I'm really going to have to take him by the hand.

"As soon as she's been moved to the ICU you can see her but not for too long. Remember she's had quite the ordeal today and the best thing for her is a good long rest."

I watch him nod his head but can tell he's annoyed at having to wait a little longer before he can see his wife again. I pat his back and talk about getting a drink but he's sunk back down in his chair and is now shaking with tears.

Glancing at Kate she gets up and dashes away, it's almost like she seen something unpleasant and wants to get away from it as quickly as she's can. I'd quite like to run myself but he's my brother and his wife is still in a very precarious situation.

"Hey it's going to be okay, Ana's going to get through this, I know it," I confide.

He nods his head and I stoop down wrapping my arms around him, I realise I've never really held him like this before. He never would of allowed it before Ana came along and helped him to overcome his fear. I'm glad she did, because as strange as it feels I'm so happy I can support him, especially now.

Christian's POV

Elliot has his arms around me and is gently patting my back, the expression on his face is so out of place that I suddenly let out a belly laugh so loud that my brother jumps three feet in the air.

"Jesus Christian are you trying to give everyone a heart attack today,"

I smirk then burst out into more hysterical laughter, I can't seem to stop and the more Elliot stares like I've lost my mind the more I laugh.

I'm filled with the most intense relief, I truly wasn't sure Ana would make it through the surgery. She's okay, she's still with me and I've cried and laughed over the news.

Finally I pull myself together enough to stop laughing at my brother then glance around only then realising that Kate has gone.

"Where's Kate."

"She ran off when she saw your first breakdown, I should have joined her especially after your second."

He smiles and I smile back, it feels strange to me like I haven't used those muscles in a long time.

About half an hour later once Kate has returned and brought us all refreshments, the doctor comes back to tell us we can see Ana now. Ray's still outside with my Dad we tried to track them down but failed, hopefully my Mom will have better luck.

Not one to stand on ceremony I get up and together with Kate and Elliot we're shown where to go. The corridors are darker here almost cocooned from the rest of the hospital. I pick up the pace, I need to see her with my own eyes I need to see she's really okay.

When we arrive they reluctantly let me enter first and I see her, my wife, my Ana. She looks far away at first, small, frail, but the closer I get the better she seems to me.

Then surprising me completely I see that she's awake and she smiling at me with a strength that overwhelms me.

"I told you," she says in a soft and feeble voice. "Didn't I tell you I'd do fine."

"You did, I'm going to have to start believing you from now on baby."

"You are."

 **Sorry for the delay but I can't post as often as I once did as I've started studying for a degree. I'm a late starter but hopefully I'll get there in the end.** **Thank you for all the kind reviews and I'm happy so many people have enjoyed my story so far.**


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